By Natasha L. Foreman, MB
In life we have loss. Some things lost naturally and some taken away. Now let me be clear this article is not addressing loss due to physical death; that is altogether a separate article. I’m referring to things we buy, trade, apply for or discard, and yes, even possibly (ending) relationships.
We try to protect ourselves from loss by natural disaster and even the disaster of theft, but sometimes we find that what we appreciated, valued and loved is now gone.
It hurts but it happens; how we deal with it can alter our life considerably.
Perceived or actual theft can really chap your hide. There will always be someone who wants what you have.
They’re not willing to work to get there own; they would rather take what they didn’t earn.
It’s easier that way.
No different than someone not being satisfied with what they have and are fixated on getting what they perceive to be better; a quickness to discard old for new.
We do it with phones, gadgets, cars, televisions, clothes, jewelry accessories, jobs, and yes even people.
We’re always looking for better and then trying to find something wrong with what we have so we can swap them out. Sound familiar?
Many people have no commitment to be committed, and feel no obligation to always be dignified and respectful. So people take what they want, use what they want, discard what they no longer want, and the only person who cares is the person who has experienced the loss—the person discarded or blindsided by theft.
But understand that no one can truly take what’s rightfully yours. I know it sounds like a load of hogwash, but it’s true.
If it can be taken to never be returned then it wasn’t meant for you to have for the rest (or most) of your life.
If it’s yours then it won’t be moved; or if taken, then it will be recovered.
Think of a stolen car that is recovered versus one that the owner never sees again. You have the opportunity to reclaim what’s yours or position yourself to get something else, possibly even better.
In the case of love and the people we love, if they leave out of desire for ‘better’ through total pursuit of their own, or by the luring of another–if they leave you then they were only yours for the time you had them. A reason or a season, but not a lifetime.
If they felt you weren’t good enough then guess what? They helped you by leaving because now you are free to have something else– something better, with a greater reward. They have freed you to live the life you are expected to lead.
We should never be dismayed for long, worry too much, or question repeatedly the why or how, for life should be seen as an investment in experiences and lessons learned with a return on the investment being wisdom.
This is how I deal with loss. I break it down as I go through my healing process. I look at it even before its happened.
I ask myself, “if this thing/person is with me for less time than I would hope for, am I okay with that, and what can/will I do to cope with and heal from the loss?” I’ve ‘lost’ enough in life to do an emotional risk assessment for potential ‘loss’. I also ask myself, “if this was damaged, lost or stolen next week, how devastated would I be?” If my answers are negative then I need to reconsider making that purchase.
This emotional-attachment assessment helps on many levels.
In life it shouldn’t be about trying to hold on to anything, it’s valuing it while you have it and knowing you are strong enough to thrive even if it’s gone. Most importantly, you have to remember that you can’t take it with you when you pass away.
So maybe you lost your car, jewelry, business, house, or job, and yes, maybe even the person you thought was the love of your life (but they thought differently) —think of all of the possibilities that can come your way.
As one door closes another one is bound to open. Keep the faith. Keep trusting and believing that as Pastor Bryan Crute says, “your best and brightest days are still ahead!”
Copyright 2012. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.