Enter 2018 hopeful and with great focus and determination–ridding yourself of people and things that will hold you back, push and keep you down, or drain the essence that makes you uniquely you. This applies to all relationships—love, friendships, and business.

My intuition is strong and I read people and energy well. I know those who have the thicker skin to endure life’s challenges, and those with thin skin who are quick to complain and place blame on everyone and everything but self.

I’ve predicted the personal and professional relationships that would last years and those that would only last months. Not everyone is cut out to splash in the rain with you. Not everyone can look back and reflect over years of overcoming adversity to see opportunities and blessings, rather than obstacles and failings.

Look closely at the people around you and those who attempt to enter your inner circle—how do they treat their family and friends? How do they handle conflict, misunderstandings, and adversity? Do they shut down, pout, give silent treatments, play the victim, and dwell on all-things-negative? Do they refuse to address issues and opt instead to avoid them?

Run from that person.

Unless they are family, stay as far away from this person as humanly possible. They are toxic and don’t even know it—visualize the warning sign and steer clear. They will emotionally, spiritually, and physically drain you. Some may even drain you financially.

There are some people who are “ride or die” and then there are others who need constant coddling and reassurance, which means you’re supporting them more than they support themselves and definitely more than they support you.

Let’s be crystal clear–gender has nothing to do with it.

I’ve known strong women and weak men. I’ve known some men who latch on like leaches feeding constantly on your energy and talent. While I’ve known some women who simply say “tell me what you need” or “tell me how I can help” and they get it done.

A person’s character means more to me than loyalty. A person dependent upon you for both the tangible and intangible can be loyal—heck, they have to because you are their supplier. I want to see people in bad times not just good ones. If I know you will ignore and give your best friend and family members the silent treatment, I know you will do it to me. I don’t have time or patience for foolishness and definitely not for emotional abuse. If when it comes to other people you’re slow to forgive or refuse to do it at all, then it doesn’t make sense for me to expect any different from you when we have arguments and misunderstandings.

How do you respond to life when others are reacting? If your natural inclination is to break down and spiral into a darkness of dreary and negativity, then please keep your distance. I’m not here for hand-holding, coddling, or enabling. Get on your grown man/woman and rise to the occasion.

When life blindsides me are you going to stand beside me or ride my back? When I’m having a bad day, week, or month are you going to add to my grief or find ways to be a positive light? When it rains will you get out and splash around with me or will you give me one more thing to stress over?

Some people aren’t built for seasonal weather. They’re good in the sunshine and an emotional rollercoaster all other times. I’m not trying to carry around and manage your baggage. I’ve got my own. So excuse me I need to grab my umbrella and rain boots so that I can laugh and splash around a bit!

~Natasha