Have you purchased Volumes 1 and 2 from my Seek Him book series?

Have you purchased the workbooks that serve as their companions? Or do you think the workbooks are just filler or exhaustive repetition of information, like so many workbooks?

Have you started reading the books? Or do you keep saying, “When the time is right?” Or “When I have the time”?

If you haven’t purchased, used, and tested yourself with these books—now is the time, because every day you are tested, tempted, and attacked. You’re going up against an enemy that has been studying and preparing for you for lifetimes. How long have you been studying and preparing for your enemy?

If you are a follower of my Breaking Bread With Natasha blog, then these are the books many of you were asking me for years to write and have published. I’ve supplied the demand. I’m coming with more. Are you ready? Or did you ask and think I would not deliver? Ah, you should know me better. 🙃

Seek Him, Volume 3 and its companion workbook will be rolling out later this Fall. It’s not my last book, but it’s the last one of this series. Whether you start this year or wait until the struggle forces you to, it’s better to be prepared and equipped, than scrambling for tools and resources. Remember what we gather from studying the Bible—we’re to be content in our circumstances, relying upon faith and hope to persevere. But we aren’t to be complacent or lazy, for that would make us complicit in our own demise.

How the Seek Him Series Works

Volume 1 covers months one through four. It helps to see where you are spiritually and it tests your perceived limits. There will be moments of discomfort. It shouldn’t be a cakewalk. This is where you start to see the boundaries you have created and, or, accepted.

Volume 2 covers the next four months, which should push you past your comfort zone, and encourage you to ask more questions, seek more answers, and break down the barriers of the status quo. You should be challenging where and how you get information, and if and how you use it. You should be peeling back the layers of yourself and getting past the facade you have created out of insecurity, fear, and a need to belong. This is a redefining stage.

Volume 3 covers the remaining four months of a 12-month journey. Not your final journey, just this particular journey. This stage should meet you at a point where you’re truly seeing yourself and how you view your relationship with God, His creations, and this chaotic world, differently. In Volume 3 you are training at a more intense level, no longer regurgitating the same ole same ole you learned in the past, growing up, etc. You’re instead conditioning yourself with a different appreciation for why you’re on this multi-pronged journey, and who you are throughout the process.

It’s about de-programming.

It’s about independent thought.

Less of “Well pastor said…” or “Father so-and-so said…” and more “From my research I found”or “Through prayer what was revealed is…” It’s about going to the Source and not settling for the remnants left by the offspring and byproducts. It’s helping you to discern the religious charlatans and pimps, and their messaging and tactics used, to prey upon you. It’s to discern well-intentioned people who fell to temptation and sadly sacrifice you to maintain what they think they gained from fame and fortune.

Jesus is quoted as saying that we are the temples, we no longer have to go to temples. There’s no more need for the pomp and circumstance, because we carry within us all that we used to pray for. He said that we don’t need an intermediary to speak on our behalf to God—we’re to petition and pray directly to Him. Yet look at how we live and worship in this modern era, more than 2,000 years later. The Bible can be used as a weapon to enslave, a tool to bury people under a mountain of misinformation, or it can be used to redeem, free, and restore people.

“I Like The Title of Volume 2, Can’t I Just Start There?”

You have to read the books in order, because that’s how they are written, with corresponding days picking up where the last book leaves off. Volume 1 starts at Day 1 and Volume 2 starts at Day 125, and so on. The books piggyback off of each other. They also point you forwards and backwards, in a layering effect. Each volume and companion workbook become increasingly more challenging than the one before. They are designed to test you, challenge you, encourage you to go beyond your comfort zone, and never return.

If you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired, pick up and read Volume 1 and Workbook 1. Then follow the path through the remaining books. I can’t guarantee enlightenment. But I know one thing, at the end of Volume 3 you won’t be where you were at the start of Volume 1!

Visit online retailers, your local bookstore, or Bookshop.org and pick up your copies. Join me on this Seek Him journey!

Love always,

Natasha

Copyright 2021. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

DOMELifePublishing.com

In stores now.

Seek Him, Volume 2: Going Beyond Your Spiritual Comfort Zone

And its companion…

Seek Him: Workbook 2

By yours truly!!

If your local book stores don’t have them, tell them to order them!

DOMELifePublishing.com

Copyright 2021. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

What I’m about to share may ruffle some feathers. It may cause some people to become defensive or offensive. That happens when truth is revealed, shared, and analyzed. Just make sure you don’t come at me with daggers. You will only cut yourself. Don’t come at me with punches. You will only hit yourself. If you come to divide, only your mind will be divided. I’ve warned you.

Let’s talk about it…
Checkers, chess, or Connect 4?
Why our lives are even in play, as a game…but they are, so whatcha gonna do about it?

When you should know the propaganda machine will crank out more vitriol than you can counter, how do you stay ahead so you can overcome?

Leaving out the adverb “TOO” left deniers of truth to say:

1) “ALL lives matter”

2) “BLUE lives matter” (although “Blue” isn’t a demographic).

3) “Well if Black Lives Matter so much to you then why aren’t you protesting Black-on-Black crime?”

4) It’s racist to say BLM or Black Power, or to call out white privilege, or to acknowledge that wealthy white men dictate whose life matters

These counter-moves puts Black people and our allies in a constant defensive position, trying to reason and rationalize with an unreasoning mindset that loves to tell rational-lies.

We thought video footage of the horror we face would be enough, but now the counter-argument is, “Please provide context”

We thought having white sympathizers protesting beside us would cause a surrender to the truth. What we get in response is, “They’re ALL thugs, terrorists, unpatriotic, unAmerican, enemies of the State, libtards, anti-police”. We hear that our sympathizers are “just pandering to Black people in this ‘woke’ era”.

When you have Black people complaining that white insurrectionists were able to storm the US Capitol and be called “patriots exercising their rights” while Black people and their allies have been called everything but—what does this say? What does this show and prove?

When you see that there are forces trying desperately to take away your vote, your right to vote, your right to equal treatment under the law, your right to protect and defend your body, your family, and your property—yet when you cry out about this, you’re told that your truth, the truth, is not their truth—so it is dismissed and devalued.

When you exercise your 2nd Amendment Right, the NRA is mostly silent in your defense. When you have no weapon but the attacker does, the NRA says the attacker “had a right to defend themselves as they feared for their lives…” Whose life truly matters?

When you’re told to “stay in your place” and “be glad for what your people have been given and what your people have achieved” as though you’re children. As though you’re still property. Yes, still slaves. The difference is that now you have access to some luxuries and can live wherever you can afford. Your new plantation is whatever area your paycheck defines. It’s all smoke and mirrors folks.

This puts Black people and our allies in a constant defensive position, trying to overcome the counter-moves, trying to prove the genuine and earnest alignment for human dignity. This leaves other POC at a major disadvantage because the reality is, if Black Lives DON’T matter, then neither do Indigenous, Asian, Latin/Hispanic, or any other non-White life.

Are we playing checkers while the powers-that-be are playing chess? Or worse, are we playing Connect 4 while they’re playing chess?

How would things have been altered if we had said “Black Lives Matter TOO”?

It sucks when you feel like your life only matters in two instances:
1) anti-abortion debates
2) military recruitment/draft

Valuing Black lives doesn’t devalue White lives, Black power doesn’t weaken White power (well except in weakening the power to crush Black life and dreams), Black votes don’t disenfranchise White votes, Black rights don’t take away White rights, Black life doesn’t sacrifice White life, Black wealth doesn’t snatch away White wealth—nor does it stop the impoverished White person from gaining wealth.

When poor White people start to realize that even with the privilege their skin provides, they too are an economic and social minority—despised by wealthy whites more than POC are despised—and they choose to stand (without faltering) with BIPOC rather than fight against them, vote with and for BIPOC instead of against them, build with BIPOC instead of building walls to keep them out—then the tides can begin shifting towards empowerment, inclusion, and freedom for all people.

When they realize the power they possess to sling down the Goliath that keeps 99 percent of the nation groveling for scraps, then they can force the powerful hands that bind the disenfranchised. They then can stop counter-arguing every police attack on Black people with, “Statistics show that poor White people face as much police brutality as Black people”. The fact that you even researched and shared this only underlines why this human rights fight is also your fight, beside us, not across from us—with us not against us. For the same system that binds us is the same system that sneakily binds you. For there are more poor Whites than Blacks, statistically. There are more Whites on state assistance than Blacks. More White “welfare queens” than Black ones. And Blacks don’t have the power and privilege to make that possible. So who does?

Is the dilemma that poor Whites face is in accepting the fact that until Black Lives Matter TOO, their life won’t truly matter either, they will still be seen as trash, worthless except to raise hell and do the dirty work of the wealthy? Is it difficult to swallow the pill of multi-generational hate aimed at a people they were taught to believe they were better than simply because they wore a different color of skin—while blaming those same people for rising from the ashes, sometimes surpassing them? Your great great great great grandparents were lied to, and every generation leading to you were lied to. You have been lied to.

It has to be maddening when you can’t really explain the hate and you’re too afraid to place blame squarely where it belongs. You’re boxing with shadows. With smoke and mirrors. Face the truth. It will set you and all of us free!

Let that sink in.

Share your thoughts below. Don’t come at me sideways with vitriol, you will only find yourself kicking a can, alone…

Love always,

Natasha

BLM #BLM2 #BLMToo #checkersorchess #unify #unity #smokeandmirrors

Copyright 2021. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Over the years I’ve shared some great messages from my childhood friend, Sean Brown, and today I want to share a message that someone really needs to hear. I know I did. I hope you truly listen with your heart. You may agree or disagree with Sean. He’s sharing his opinion and insights. Join in the conversation and explore what we can do better and together. We’re all dealing with trauma and going through phases of healing. We should do a better job at sharing the tools we use to cope with and overcome the rough times. Thank you Sean for sharing this!

Love,

Natasha

Today, as I was reflecting over a 10-year-old message I had written for my Breaking Bread blog, I started to look inward and examine how I’ve grown in some areas and still struggle in other areas. The post is on forgiveness and I can admit that I struggle with forgiving myself and others for various offenses. This is something I have to reconcile as it’s no one else’s responsibility to manage my thoughts, emotions, or actions.

My heart and what flows from it is my doing, no one else’s. My actions are my choosing. The words I speak are by my control, not the pulled strings of a puppet master. So if I deposit venom or bliss, it’s by my doing. I must take responsibility for the energy and feelings that I choose to deposit, withdraw, hold on to, or let go. Below is an image of a message that I shared on Instagram. Maybe it will spark a healthy conversation. Reach out and let me know your thoughts and opinions in the comments section below.

With Love, Natasha

Copyright 2021. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Did you purchase my books “Seek Him, Volume 1” AND “Seek Him: Workbook 1”? 

If so, please share a photo of yourself with BOTH books, and tag me @natashalforeman and @domelifepublishing on IG, FB, or Twitter to be entered into a drawing to win a FREE copy of Volume 2 of the Seek Him book series, to be released VERY SOON!

Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ve been tracking with me, you should be well into your copy of Volume 1. Well, Volume 2 picks up where the first book leaves off. Volume 1 covers months 1 through 4, and Volume 2 covers months 5 through 8. That gives you 4 more months, and this next level gets deeper. It goes BEYOND your spiritual comfort zone. So share your pics and tag away, to be entered into the drawing.

The winner will be announced Monday, February 15th.

This has not been the month of tech for me, as I’ve had my share of headaches with the devices that make it possible for me to share my messages and engage with all of you on social media. Two weeks ago my cell phone experienced an internal crash and after days of trying to fix it I had to settle with getting another phone. I then spent several days waiting for the new phone to be delivered, and then there is the transition that we go through when having to re-add content to a new phone, and trying to remember passwords, etc.

It’s been an experience to say the least. I decided to go back to Apple iPhone, from Samsung, and since my Samsung crashed I can’t access content. So this feels more like it did years ago when we first started using smart phones and you had to add the content and download the apps for the very first time. The only difference is, I’m trying to add apps that I already had and remember passwords that keep slipping my mind. I can’t recall all of the names of my apps, because some of them rebranded. I just grew comfortable remembering their logos. Goodness gracious.

I’m still not back up 100% but I’m much farther along than two weeks ago. So please be patient with me over these next several days…heck, even the next few weeks. Thank you.

Love, Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

It is with deep sadness, sorrow, and gut-wrenching pain that I share today that yesterday, November 14, 2020, by beloved child, dog, friend, companion, and protector—Bishop Milo Bryant, transitioned from this life.

I struggle to type these words because his presence is so strong, in my heart, mind, spirit, and soul. His presence is so strong in my home, car, and throughout social media—as he has his own IG, FB, and Twitter accounts.

I walk past his bed, cool mat, blanket, water and food area, his toys, and I’m waiting to see him. My heart hurts. My head hurts. My entire body is in agony and I don’t know what else to do except pray for peace within.

I never thought that my initial plans to take him to Lake Lanier for a day out would instead lead to a change of plans the moment we got into my SUV. He was energetic earlier in the day but was lethargic when I returned home with his $19 FreshPet food loaf. I was excited about mixing it up with a sweet potato I cooked him Friday night. I said it had to be yummy if it cost $19. I couldn’t wait to see if Bishop enjoyed it. But Bishop was now lethargic and not interested in food or even his beloved treats.

I thought the drive, good weather, and time at the lake would change his energy. He was excited to go but his energy wasn’t as high as normal.

A family friend had invited us and was waiting in the car when I loaded up the essentials I would need for a day at the lake. Just as I grabbed Bishop’s toys from his cubby in the rear of my SUV, and tossed them in the backseat to entertain and comfort him, my friend told me Bishop’s gums were white. They had been a light pink hours before. Now we were both confused.

No trip to the lake. The only car ride was to the hospital. I jumped in my SUV, told my friend I would keep them posted, and I sped off. I have no clue what they said as I left. My only focus was Bishop.

After not reaching his vet, I called the ER and told them I’m heading their way. Bishop was in the backseat in his hammock, not his normal self. I held one of his paws as I drove. I contacted my sister and friend with updates, and texted our other family friend (and former assistant) to notify him and Bishop’s dad of the latest. I asked my sister to contact my mom to keep her informed.

My friend, who I left waiting outside our home, had pulled up three parking spaces away. There were several cars waiting for care of their beloved pets.

The staff brought me paperwork to complete and then the assistant came and escorted Bishop inside the building, while I followed COVID-19 protocols and waited in my car.

Never did I think this ER visit would be our last together.

I hadn’t contemplated anything as serious as the phone call I received not even 30 minutes later. As I cried on the phone with the doctor, I took detailed notes to share with loved ones who would have questions. I read my notes back to the doctor and she said she couldn’t believe the accuracy of my note-taking. Those kudos only had a light touch because I was being congratulated on my accuracy in a time of duress and horror.

Without sharing the awful diagnosis (and I have no intention in sharing it later, so please don’t ask), I will say that the prognosis shared gave my beloved Bishop Milo 3 to 6 more months of time with me, if (and only if) his surgery and aftercare had no hiccups. The best case scenario was 6 to 12 months, but factoring in his age and breed, the doctor was barely holding on to that level of optimism.

The steps required sounded like anxiety-ridden, stress-inducing, painful moments for my baby. He was already experiencing great anxiety and discomfort every time he returned from the vet and hospital these previous few weeks. It would take days for him to return to normal. I couldn’t fathom what hospitalization, surgery, rehab, and any other procedures would cause his beautiful mind to think and his heart to feel.

My baby is love, light, and high energy. When he’s not feeling good the whole world turns grey around us. Nothing and no one matters during that time except Bishop. My worry and tears would only worry him more. We both leaned on each other for comfort and support. So what would this proposed experience be like for him? For us?

When the doctor warned me of the potential complications during and after surgery, I swear the world stopped rotating for a few moments. I couldn’t comprehend my baby passing away on an operating table, in a recovery crate, on the way home, or any other number of scenarios that were presented. I couldn’t let him think I left him with strangers to experience such traumas.

My son needed to hear, see, feel, and be around his loved ones. My son needed to hear, feel, and know that he is loved, appreciated, and the best son ever. I didn’t want him to leave this level of existence not knowing that he did an amazing job loving on everyone he encountered.

He did an amazing job loving, supporting and protecting me. He did an amazing job caring for me when I was sick, throughout my current and past injuries, and throughout my health scares. When my body doesn’t want to cooperate, Bishop aligns his energy with me and he’s more gentle and patient, as he knows I sometimes struggle to physically interact with him like I normally do. He’s grown to be an awesome support dog, more than I imagined—as most of the things he’s learned to support me have been within the last one to two years.

He did an amazing job learning other new things these past two years, including free walking off leash in crowds, around cars, and while other dogs and cats were in close proximity. Bishop loved chasing cats.

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but clearly they didn’t know Bishop Milo. My baby was still learning new things days before this tragedy.

What my baby needed now was to look into our eyes, and we look into his, and know that all would be different, but all would be well. He wouldn’t hurt and suffer anymore. He wouldn’t be subjected to poking and proding, needles and other things being stuck in him. He wouldn’t have to deal with doctors and nurses anymore. No more anxious runs, racing to his mommy trying to break free from the grasp of the attendant walking him out to me.

I sobbed knowing that this was the right decision but wishing I had a better one. I kept hoping for a miracle but one never came.

We were supposed to be at the lake, playing near and in the water, looking at bugs, insects and people. He was supposed to be rolling around in grass and playing catch. We were supposed to have a great Saturday and then plan our Sunday football menu. We were supposed to be planning our road trip for Thanksgiving, and prepping for Christmas.

We were supposed to be getting hyped up for his upcoming, November 25th birthday. My baby Bishop was turning 9 years old and I had already picked out his gift and cake. I even contemplated buying him an outfit to wear.

Now, instead, I was having to make the toughest decision I’ve had to make so far in my life.

I spoke with my friend and my sister, separately and then together. My sister made phone calls to update my mom and to have my ex-husband updated. I called the ER doctor and she walked outside to speak in person. I told her that I didn’t want my baby to hurt anymore, to be scared anymore, to be traumatized anymore, and I couldn’t selfishly intervene knowing that I risked causing all of those things and more to happen to the spirit, energy, light that I love as my very own child.

It wasn’t long after that the assistant guided me and my friend into a private room where Bishop anxiously and lethargically tried to get to us, and convince us to get him out of there. We joined my mom and sister on a video call, where we all grieved together.

I’m grateful to the staff for allowing me to stay with Bishop as long as I wanted. Well, as long as I wanted in that room. Because my heart and mind say he’s supposed to be here beside me right now, as I type these words, he’s supposed to be waiting for today’s adventure to unfold.

I sobbed all yesterday and woke up today crying. All I want is my baby, Bishop. As I drove home I could smell his scent in my car. When I put my key in the lock and opened my front door, I expected for him to be there, high-energy, welcoming me home and asking what I brought back for him. My home is filled with Bishop and all-things Bishop. His toys, bedding, blankets, and clothes. My SUV has two storage cubes filled with Bishop’s things.

Last night, I spent hours on his IG and Facebook, looking at videos and pictures of him over the years, and funny videos of dogs that our family and friends had posted that reminded us of Bishop. For as long as I can, I will keep his social media accounts active. I plan on creating some photo albums and video montages of Bishop.

I want my baby. I miss my baby. Our time together wasn’t long enough. Almost 9 years wasn’t enough. I had travel plans for us. I had plans to find him the perfect sibling or siblings to boss around, and play with. We were supposed to swim in ponds, lakes, and pools together. We still had countless hiking trips to go on, adventures to create.

All of that is gone. So now I hold on dearly to the memories, the pictures, videos, and tangible items that were and are Bishop’s.

I thank my sister for the beautiful message she posted on Facebook yesterday, honoring her nephew. I thank those of you who posted condolences, sent texts, and called. Right now I need some time to cope and go through these grieving and healing steps. Please understand my desire to be antisocial for awhile. For some of you, Bishop was just a dog. For those of you who had Bishop in your life, you know better. You know the loving soul and spirit that rested in that big ole furry body. You know that he was, is, and always will be my child.

I’m contemplating hosting a virtual memorial service for him, on his birthday. If I do, I hope you will attend and share your memories and prayers for Bishop. Unlike my book release party, there won’t be any registration, just show up and share in the love. I’m hurting y’all but I’m also grateful that my baby is at peace. I’m hurting but I only have pain because the love we share is so strong. I’m blessed to know this deepness and purity of love.

Bishop gave and taught me unconditional love. There is no greater gift. I will hold that love in my heart forever.

Love,

Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Hey everyone!

  1. Check out this quick video of me…

2. Then tune in at 6:30pm ET and listen to Episode 47 of the Don’t Call It Small…Business Podcast as we discuss “Supporting the Entrepreneur In Your Life”. Be sure to share with others.

You can also listen using the player below.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/11391552/ep-47-supporting-the-entrepreneur-in-you

3. Thank you!

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

So I have a confession, of sorts, well… not really, because I already wrote about this over the years. But let me make it more pointed today. In the past I made it a habit of quickly rebounding from one old relationship into a new one. I convinced myself that the old guy was no longer relevant and it was time to move on.

The reality was and is, I didn’t want to face and deal with the pain of the loss. The rebound was a bandaid, a quick fix, to convince myself and others that I was good, and “I’m over that dude!”.

Those were all lies—in reference to several of the men I had relationships with over the past 25+ years. I don’t count the guys I went on a few dates with or we didn’t last past three months. I truly was over those dudes. But for the real ones, the ones that touched my heart and I cried when we broke up, it’s different but I lied and said it wasn’t. I didn’t want to keep dealing with the pain and shame.

How can I honestly say I’m over a person weeks or months after breaking up, when we were together for months and years longer than the period of time from break-up to rebound? Listening to your friends try to convince you to come party with them, or meet some new man/woman they think you will like, is not what you need fresh out of a relationship. That mindset of “get a new one to get over the old one” is a setup, a trick.

You have to untangle that web. Things have to be realigned and rewired in your mind and heart before you decide to let a new person come take a tour. They have no clue it’s a house of horrors up in there.

I’m sharing this today because I keep seeing folks rebounding left and right, but never healing. It bothers me to see it. It hits close to home because I know how they feel. It’s easy to rebound. Doesn’t take practice or skill. Just leap.

I started rebounding in high school. It never dawned on me that I shouldn’t have hopscotched into a new relationship weeks or months after breaking up with one of my high school loves. It was so casual for me because I wasn’t having sex so I didn’t see it as a big deal. Just because you’re not having sex doesn’t mean you still aren’t intimately intertwined.

A rebound is a rebound.

That rebound playbook is filled with disaster after disaster. No championships there. Just a trail of broken hearts or a bunch of bruises on yours. And it’s double the pain when you were both rebounding from previous relationships. Two damaged people can’t heal each other. You’re both taking turns putting bandaids on each other to cover the gaping wounds.

Let’s not even go there with the flow-over of one or both of you cheating on your partners and then you end up together. Your relationship is built on lies. Let me stop. That’s for another post.

Here’s a test to see if you’re truly over someone:

  • Do you find yourself mentioning them frequently in conversation with others? Or asking about them to certain people who still associate with your ex?
  • Do other people tell you that you mention that person a lot?
  • Are you still checking their social media and blog posts, and it causes you great discomfort seeing them “go on with their lives”?
  • Do you drive by their home and see if you can see them? 👀
  • Are you intentionally posting pictures and messages on social media aimed at getting a reaction from your ex? Or in hopes that someone will say something to them about your post?
  • Do you explode in rage when their name is mentioned, or does it evolve after a few moments of speaking about them?
  • Can you speak of that person with love in your heart, like that Mother Teresa kinda love? Or do you find yourself still pining for them, wishing they would call or drop by saying they made a mistake?
  • Are you still willing to have sex with them?

Ummm…If you’re down for the booty call then you aren’t over them, you’re just willing to accept whatever scraps you can get. Please know that you deserve better.

If when you think or speak about the person there’s so much venom brewing up inside of you that you could punch someone, you aren’t over them. Matter of fact, it’s the exact opposite, a part of you is consumed by them. You need an exorcism!

You should be able to casually mention an ex without it either appearing that you’re about to Linda Blair the place, or text or call them later hoping to re-engage. Too much talk of them in any of your conversations, with anyone, is a red flag. You aren’t over them. You still haven’t let go and let that chapter close.

Now when it comes to snooping on their social, you have too much time on your hand if you can social media stalk them. I get it, you may have shared connections so occasionally one of their posts may pop on your feed, but if you go from looking at one post and moments later you’re 10-plus posts in, you have gone too far. If you scrolled and found yourself gawking over posts from months ago or as far back as when the two of you were together, my friend you need an intervention. You also need to find a hobby or two!

That leads me to driving by their home. Please stop it. You’re taking creepy and desperate to another level. It doesn’t even matter if you used to live there, you don’t live there now. What do you gain from driving by and maybe seeing them alone, or with their new boo? Most likely you will do something immature and make yourself look silly. If you’re in your twenties this may be a struggle, but get it together. Everyone older than age 29 needs to stop it, and stop it now. You need cleansing, healing, and Jesus.

Some people want to hide behind the excuse of, “Well I broke up with them, so clearly I was done!” First, my response is, “Then why are you obsessed with them?” Second, it didn’t matter if I broke up with the guy or if they broke up with me, and it didn’t matter the reason for the break-up. It’s broken. It’s about how I live my life after the breakup. It’s about how I regard them after the break-up. Time is a precious asset that we cannot reclaim or recycle. How will you invest it?

Oh yeah, and let’s be clear, those of you still dwelling on the cheating partner that you broke up with—they actually broke up with you long before you did, it was just easier to keep you around until one of their “plans” worked in their favor. You made it easy for them by walking away, so get off of that horse and deal with your mess. Heal so that the right person will be perfectly aligned with you in the right ways, at the right time.

Here’s the truth—we shared great times and not-so-great times with our exes, and our souls were intertwined for a period of time. There was intimacy, dreams, goals, and plans. Your families may even be linked through this union. Time and energy were invested in each other, and in this relationship. Then suddenly, it’s over.

Okay, for some of you it was a long lead-up to that death, but once it was done it felt like you were now in a parallel world. While everyone else is living their lives, yours begins to spiral out of control, as your norm is no longer. Even if you argued every day with this person, now you’re not. Whatever your daily routine used to be is no more. You’re not cooking for two, doing laundry for two, planning for two, dreaming of two. Nope. Now it’s just you and that puffy face, snotty nose, red-eyed person staring back at you in the mirror.

The first stage of grief kicks in and you have a choice to accept it and triumphantly push through each stage, or cowardly jump off, and find a pacifier to coddle you. That pacifier is either in the form of partying with your friends (so you can consume as much of your day without being alone), getting stupid drunk (which you already know how that ends each time), or finding another source of body heat to connect with. All three options suck!

Yes, we shouldn’t isolate and turn into a hermit. At the same time, we do need alone time to be with our thoughts, our selves, our fears and issues. No one can fix us. We have to fix ourselves. We have to deal with us before we send some idiot representative to act on our behalf. Let’s keep it real, your friends don’t like that person. They like and prefer YOU, and when you get your life together or start destroying those friendships, they will tell you exactly that!

Some people don’t take the time they TRULY need after a break up to reflect and learn, heal and forgive themselves, release the stranglehold of shame, and ensure that they won’t be dragging baggage from the past into their future. If the issues that broke up your relationship aren’t resolved in your heart and mind, to the point that you can trust and love yourself and trust and love others, then you won’t. You can’t give what you don’t have.

But all of that requires work, and it’s a painful process that many try desperately to avoid.

That’s why we quickly rebound and hop into a fresh relationship where we can play make believe, pretend that we have a fresh slate, pretend that this new person is perfect and flawless, and pretend that we’re healed and whole. You can go on and on about how this new person is nothing like the ex, and how they just “get me”, and how easy it is with them, and blah blah blah…roses never stink thanks to this person, the world is brand new because you have a new love in your life, and “They bake their chicken while my ex roasted it…baked tastes better”. It didn’t matter how much your ex tried to motivate you to eat better and exercise more, now in your new relationship you’re bragging about how this new person has “Helped me get healthier” 🙄😒

And sadly, the suckups and yes people in your life just amen you and your glee, badmouth your ex they were just hanging with, and lie and tell your new love, “I’ve never seen him/her so happy,” knowing they’ve used this tired, recycled line far too many times. Or they’re newly minted friends so they haven’t known all of the other exes from years past. I always smile and nod when I hear this, because I know the truth—we haven’t been hit with life’s storms yet to truly test happiness and joy. I almost burst out laughing when I hear it from someone who never knew the ex, only heard the hearsay after. So you never witnessed an entire relationship, the last one this person was in, and you’re trying to prop me up to believe that my presence and love has overshadowed the ex. Mmkay…tsk tsk…But I exhale and allow everyone to play their parts, and say their lines.

Whatever the scenario, you’re floating on air for weeks or months, until there’s a crack in the facade. Until the past and present have a catastrophic collision 💥

That first real argument is bananas. I’m not talking about the trivial little disagreement. Nope, I’m talking about the rabbit hole of doom that you and this person have ran into like two maniacs. It doesn’t take long for you to slip up and call them your ex’s name.

It doesn’t take long for you to start negatively comparing them to your ex or exes. Yeah, you’re going through the laundry list of offenses that past loves did that resemble what your new love has done (or that you have accused them of doing). Oh yeah, you’re cutting and slashing them to the quick. You have a bloodthirst. You’re going for total annihilation.

That’s because you’re still not healed and over your past. You’re carrying that dead weight around like it’s a championship belt or Flavor Flav’s clock necklace. Visualize his big clock hanging from his neck. Let me help you out…

For you, in your life, this clock represents the past, the time you dwell on, the time that you swear you lost being in that old relationship. Sadly, it also represents the time that you waste dwelling on all of it. If you had invested the time to heal from it, it wouldn’t be dead weight holding you down and keeping you from truly moving forward—in a healthy way. Nope. Instead it would be a joyful reminder to not waste a moment, embrace it, and live fully. But instead you have now gone berserk on the same person who moments ago you swore could do no wrong.

It’s not fair to the new person and it’s not a healthy situation for either of you. It’s a setup for another explosive end. It’s a setup for both of you to be hurt repeatedly. You are a ticking time bomb waiting to be detonated, and this other person is clueless—or if they know, then they are ignorant enough to stand near by to take a direct hit.

Rebounds are only good in sports and in leadership examples, where we bounce back from falling on our face—and in those instances, you’re still expected to reflect on the learned lesson. Rebounds are never healthy in the romance sphere. You’re playing a game and it’s the one that can lead to dire consequences. Relationship rebounds are bandaids. They aren’t cures. You’re just masking the infection underneath. At some point, that nasty bandaid is gonna fall off and expose you.

Clean your wounds, properly bandage things, learn yourself, date yourself, go through the painful healing process. Believe me, it’s less painful than being in a constant cycle of toxic relationships—especially when YOU are the common denominator in those relationships!

If you’re currently in a relationship with a person you rebounded with, you need to work on your self-healing without their involvement. They are not your savior or pacifier. Dig the gunk out of your mind and heart, deal with your issues, be honest with them, admit that you’re still hurting and stress to them that it is not for them to solve, fix, mend, or repair. If they want to walk beside you, thank them but establish clear boundaries. Yes, they should hold you accountable when you blur those lines of past and present, but emotionally and verbally beating you up for not recovering as fast as they like is not acceptable. They should not set the expectations and parameters for your healing. If you can’t do it then you have no business being in a new relationship.

Take your time with them. Don’t rush things. Don’t let them rush you. Savor those moments. Identify truth from fantasy. Find your foundation and be grounded. Be uncomfortable in the unknown, the uncharted. If they can’t handle this truth, if they can’t deal with your slower pace, then give them the option to take a cleansing break for a few months, or lovingly go your separate ways. It’s not punishment. It’s not leverage. It’s about love, healing, growth, maturity, and wisdom. You can’t fully and honestly love them if you’re not positively loving yourself.

I truly hope these words help someone. I know it would’ve saved me years of grief and conflict, relationship after relationship. I would’ve learned to let go of people who couldn’t let go of their exes. I would’ve learned to not enter a relationship when I wasn’t healed from the last one. I would’ve been mature enough to take those cleansing breaks to assess things in a loving way.

We owe it to ourselves and others to do no harm. When we willfully enter a relationship knowing we are damaged, frayed, on edge, and can easily cut and be cut —we are intentionally causing and inviting harm.

It’s time to heal!

Love always,

Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally happened…My books will be released on October 20, 2020!
Click on the image to order.
Yes, you read that correctly. The first book makes up the three-volume series.The title of the book is “SEEK HIM, Volume 1: Testing Your Spiritual Comfort Zone“. It is inspired by my journey through my blog Breaking Bread With Natasha.

In addition to a Bible verse, Reflection, and Prayer, you have daily activities such as:

Speak Your Truth” which is a daily session of affirmations and declarations that you will speak and write. They aren’t my words you’re using. They are yours. You are encouraged to speak truth over yourself.”

Go Deeper” is a daily activity that challenges you to explore the theme, topics, and questions on a deeper level. To complete this activity you will be pointed to our workbook, which I will tell you more about shortly.

At the beginning of each month you will find trivia or statements about historical or cultural contexts related to the Bible. This section is called “Ponder This“. It’s purpose is to get your mind churning. You will be directed to read the corresponding “Consider This” section towards the back of the book.

Consider This is the response to Ponder This. See if your thoughts, beliefs, and understanding of the information aligns with the historical, cultural, linguistic, and religious facts provided.

I didn’t just make up some information or type what I recall learning in church. I did extensive research and shared my sources in the Notes section in the back of the book.

At the end of each month there is a “Go Beyond” section which you may or may not be ready to explore, depending on your frame of mind, or what’s going on in your life. It’s also a great activity to do in Bible Study, book clubs, and with other groups.

SEEK HIM, Volume 1 comes in paperback and ebook versions.It also has a companion workbook (as mentioned earlier) that is a tool to further encourage your deeper exploration of self, your relationship with God, and more. It’s simply titled, “SEEK HIM: Workbook 1“. Trust me, you don’t want to skip the workbook. It truly tests your comfort zone and your knowledge of historical and cultural details from Biblical times. I was encouraged by several people to provide content that could challenge even the long-time devotees to Christ. That required hours, days, and weeks of research, fact-finding, and truth-seeking.

The culmination of this research is provided in the section of the workbook called, “Greater Context“. This section may enlighten many and shock or outrage others. All of which is great, because it keeps your mind working and thinking. Since I provided dozens upon dozens of sources, the skeptics and critics can go read those books and articles for themselves. Lifelong learning keeps us growing and our minds sharp!Each month, Volume 1 and Workbook 1 tap deeper into your mind and heart. Once you complete these books—at the end of four months, you’re then encouraged to get your copies of “SEEK HIM, Volume 2: Going Beyond Your Spiritual Comfort Zone” and its companion, “SEEK HIM: Workbook 2“, both of which have a February 2021 release date.

Volume 2 and Workbook 2 continue to inspire, encourage, and challenge you through four additional months of spiritual and mental exploration. It’s no cake walk. You can’t be passive with the SEEK HIM books. If you’re up for the challenge and you really want to seek Him at all times, and go beyond your spiritual comfort zone, then make sure you purchase these books.

By the time you finish reading those and completing the activities, you will be prepared to journey into the last four months of this book series. The third book set is our Volume 3 and Workbook 3, both of which have a scheduled book release for May 2021.

My books are being published through D.O.M.E. Life Publishing. Be sure to visit the website at DOMELIFEPUBLISHING.COM and learn more about this publishing imprint of Foreman & Associates, LLC, its mission, and the planned book releases for 2020 and 2021.Be sure to also sign up for the newsletter so that you’re never out of the loop!I want to thank everyone who has encouraged me to write this book, or should I say, books. I never expected for it to grow and evolve into three books with three workbooks, but we never know what God has planned for us, what He’s pouring into us, and what He’s birthing through us. I’m just grateful for all of the ways He molds and uses me.

I hope that the SEEK HIM series benefits you. Lord knows that’s what I’ve been praying for since the moment I began typing the first word of Volume 1.

Please follow D.O.M.E Life Publishing on social media:
FB @domelifepublishing
IG @domelifepublishing
Twitter @domepublishing

We will be hosting events, giveaways, and contests over the next several weeks and months. I want to make sure that you’re always in the loop. Thank you for all of your love and support!

Loving you always,
Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Who are you, defined solely by you and your Creator? Then be you. Be that person. Stop trying to conform, be accepted, and apologize for blurring someone else’s lines, visions, boxes, categories, expectations, and labels.

Too many people are miserable because they’re trying to be something and someone they aren’t. They’re trying to live someone else’s life, by someone else’s standards.

When you have your quiet time with your Creator, are you at peace? Then that is what you should be aiming for each day. The struggle and pain comes from stepping outside of that zone.

Affirm who you are. Define yourself by the standards you and your Creator have outlined. Stop apologizing to people who don’t matter, never did. They didn’t create you. You are not in their image and likeness. Your mind, spirit, and soul were not formed by them. They do not breathe life into you each day. They don’t complete you, make you whole, or make you real. All of that comes from one Source, and you disrespect and disregard that truth and your union when you keep chasing behind the fallacy of human existence and norms, as created by the creations.

Live your life as boldly or as muted as you choose. Love yourself. There’s only one you!

~Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Guess what I’m talking about today on Episode 32 of the Don’t Call It Small…Business Podcast? Recruiting. Yep, but I’m getting into the nitty gritty of it; into the often overlooked stuff.

We’re sharing how to find and select the right team members for your company.

If you’re thinking of starting a business or you already have one, and you’re struggling with finding and selecting the right candidates to join your growing team, then you need to listen to Episode 32 today at 5 pm ET today.

I will also be shouting out two Atlanta-based companies and the entrepreneurs that run them, making sure that our listeners recognize and support local businesses. We’re highlighting Keron Spencer, the owner of Keron Kan Painting LLC. We’re also shouting out Cartez Fountain, the owner of Fountain & Fountain Painting Co LLC, who we highlighted in Episode 12.

You can listen to Episode 32 at ForemanLLC.com/podcast

We’re also broadcasting on:

  • Apple Podcasts
  • Google Podcasts
  • Spreaker
  • Spotify
  • iHeart Radio
  • Deezer
  • Castbox
  • Podcast Addict
  • Podchaser

If you have any questions or comments about Human Resource Management, feel free to contact us here. If your questions or comments are for our podcast, direct them to our show email.

I look forward to receiving your feedback and comments concerning today’s show!

~Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. Foreman & Associates, LLC. All Rights Reserved.