When we look at the most successful people, professionally and personally, they all have something in common—they are mindful of their inner circle and the people that surround them. They are mindful of their space and who plays a role in their lives, and how those roles are played.
Energy is important to them so they passionately purge out toxic energy, toxic people, and try to steer clear of toxic environments. That’s why they have a magnetic energy that just draws you in.
They have clearly defined boundaries and there are consequences for those who blatantly cross them. They set personal standards and they hold others to equally high standards.
They also have accountability partners–friends and colleagues that they connect with that hold them accountable and vice versa. There’s a healthy push that takes place, where goals stated are encouraged and there are benchmarks to gain status updates. No slacking allowed is the mindset.
Good seeks great. Great seeks excellence.
You don’t see joyful people hanging around miserable people. You don’t see people who are focused on being mentally, physically and spiritually fit hanging around those who could care less about their own health and wellbeing. People who are always seeing opportunities and potential, even in the worst possible moments don’t hang around people who always see the impossible and what they “can’t” do.
We must be mindful of the people we allow in our inner circle. We must be mindful of who we share energy with, and of the time we invest in others. If you’re spending too much time with people that constantly take your time and zap your energy, then how can you replenish and recharge?
You have to find a healthy balance.
For me I’ve come to the conclusion that with the exception of my family and the people that I mentor, if you’re here to “take” and to hitch your “wagon” to me, please keep walking. I have a limited bandwidth just like the next person and I have to be mindful of how I invest my time and energy, and who I invest in.
Family is family, there’s a natural give and take. As a mentor I’m positioned to give so that minds may be expanded and doors of opportunity may be opened. But for everyone else…as the saying goes “iron sharpens iron” and if you aren’t iron then hanging around me won’t make it so. I need to be challenged and to be held accountable—if you aren’t pushing up the mountain as hard or harder than me then you’re working against me not with me.
The fastest sprinter doesn’t run beside the slowest. Instead you seek out and challenge someone as fast or faster than you. Then you push each other to greatness. Neither of you are holding back or holding each other back.
I strive for excellence and in my moments of fear, doubt, insecurity, or worry the last person that I need beside me is a person who is paralyzed by fear, doubt, insecurity, and worry. When I’m looking for solutions I don’t need someone bringing me more problems or making me focus on the ones in front of me. When I’m trying to motivate myself to eat right and go to the gym or for a jog, the last person I’m trying to hang around in that moment is the person who isn’t motivated to do any of those things. When I’m “in my head” I don’t have space for you to also be “in my head”.
I need accountability partners. I can’t have a wealth mindset and you have a broke one. I’m focused on a healthy lifestyle while you’re on a toxic crash course. I can’t be a warrior while you’re a victim. I can’t be pushing forward while you’re going in reverse.
Iron sharpens iron. If you aren’t iron please keep walking!
As we near the end of 2017 look closely at your inner circle. Look at those you invest time and energy in and consider your return on this investment. Is there added value? If not, consider realigning those relationships so that you are free to give more time where it is mutually rewarding, and so you are positioned to be the best version of you.
Remember, iron sharpens iron!