Be not afraid of going slowly; be only afraid of standing still.

Chinese Proverb

I’ve read this proverb many times over the years, but late last night I ran across it again and it stopped me. It made me pay attention and then look within.

There’s a difference between stillness of observation and the stillness of indecision. Some people fear failure so they cling to the thought of doing everything in perfection, and the result is, they rarely complete and accomplish anything because they spend too much time frozen, contemplating the what-ifs of making decisions that aren’t perfect. That is a death by billions of tiny, perfect cuts.

We can be still to calm our emotions and regain clarity. When we get into trouble is when our stillness becomes self-imposed paralysis. When we allow fear to rule and become our god, and we surrender all hope and dreams to the chaos that fear churns.

Even in hiding, we must plan and eventually execute, our movement elsewhere. To be free we must move away from where we are trapped, enslaved, etc.

Going slowly is still movement; you are still accomplishing more than if you do nothing. We don’t rush baked foods or the slow-cooked meats. We allow the time for the flavors to interact and come together in harmony, which is what we taste bite after bite.

Just as moving too fast in a relationship can cause us to spiral and crash, when we don’t move in our relationship, it dies. It truly is like a marathon.

Progress is better than stagnation. Make each step. Lay each brick. Write each word. Hammer one nail and then the next. Create, test, and try again. Build as you climb.

Don’t look back. Don’t compare your journey to others. Don’t even compare this path to any you took before. Be present and grateful in each moment, because once the moment passes it is gone and can’t be reclaimed. Journal about the experiences, lessons, blessings, and how you would like to impart your newfound knowledge to others.

Stop reading. You understand now. It’s time to…

MOVE!!!!!!!!!!

Love,

Natasha

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Hmmm… in many ways, security is a fallacy that we only discover while on an adventure.

I want to feel secure in my ability to accept every adventure that piques my interest and stretches my concept of reality.

That is what I desire. That is what I seek.

Since I was a little girl I’ve craved adventure. It pokes at me. I try as much as possible to poke back.

I know that’s why I love reading and writing books. You don’t know what will be poured onto those pages and how it will end. You just have to dive in and see! The same is true with a great movie; the story pulls me in and I become a character in an even bigger adventure.

Oh dang, what just popped into my head is “that’s why I’m a sappy romantic,” because there’s great risk and adventure in romance. But I’m not diving down that rabbit hole today.

My craving for adventure is why I love sports cars and enjoyed driving and riding at insane speeds on racetracks and highways (ssssh don’t tell anyone 😜). I learned new things while being tested at great risk.

It’s why I turned to hiking and have found myself drawn to camping, to see what I can learn along rugged paths, about this world, and about myself.

I thought I was going to drown scuba diving, but I wouldn’t trade the experience, because I can say I tried it. I’ve seen some amazing sea formations and creatures while snorkeling in different countries. I’ve also met some pretty cool people along my journeys.

For the most part, when it comes to travel adventures, that requires the financial means to explore without considerable limits. A sizable travel budget is a level of “security” that interests me. 🙃😉

There’s so much to see and learn and I hunger for the experiences, lessons, knowledge, and wisdom that I can potentially gain.

Something else that comes to mind is that almost every day is an adventure for me. I’m not saying that to sound cerebral or to blow smoke up your backside. The truth is, I never know what the heck I’m going to learn, see, hear, or do each day. I can have plans but life knows how to distract and disrupt plans, so I’m learning to let go of my tight grip and allow more parts to unfold without thinking they must align with what I list as to-dos for a given day.

My desire for adventure is what motivates me to turn my world upside down, to simplify as much of it as I can, so I’m free to explore and play whenever and wherever I want.

If I wait until I have what I (or society) deems as “security” then I might find that my time has run out, my dreams slipped away, and even my funeral ends up being someone else’s idea of my desires.

So sign me up for a daggum adventure!!!!!

~ Natasha

How important is spirituality in your life?

Spirituality is different for everyone. It is defined by our interpretation, experiences, expectations, and the lenses we look through.

For me, spirituality is the essence of me and the exploration I choose to seek each day. In my life, it is not tied to or defined by one religion. I learn and experience new things each day, and as I grow in my peace of seeing the value of surrendering my desperate desire for control, I’m learning to surrender to the process and trusting the path that unfolds before me.

I know some people believe that religion and spirituality are one and inseparable, and so they define spirituality by their religion and bind themselves to their religion, based on how they see spirituality. Some people choose to place higher authority toward religion —minimizing spirituality to whatever utterances they find in their religious texts (that they discriminately choose), to acknowledge its existence. Some people don’t acknowledge spirituality at all, seeing only humanity. Some people want to pick and choose what elements and layers of spirituality they deem appropriate, acceptable, and palatable. They try to filter spirituality by using what they know about religion. And there are some people that don’t believe in religion or spirituality.

I have opinions about all of these beliefs, and I won’t fall into the trap of saying my beliefs are right and theirs are wrong, for I don’t have and will never have the authority to do so. I will stay in my lane and leave the big stuff to my Creator, and all delegated higher authorities.

Since this blog is my safe space, I will share my opinions.

For me, spirituality is an individual journey, even if we are side-by-side with others. It is not capped off or boxed in like humans have blundered religion. Some people try to place spirituality in a box by using religion, but I don’t think it’s possible. I think they only gather a small piece of energy that they try to manipulate and shape into their ideas and ideals.

I believe the original architectural design of religion was to create a bond amongst us, to show us our connectedness and responsibility to each other (and to every living creature), and it formed a relationship with principles. To help with order, laws were formed to help us shift out of the prison of chaos into desired harmony, to help us develop a rhythm with routine, and to build muscle memory to remember our truth— and live it.

But unfortunately, the human desire to not feel weak and powerless tends to lean towards a desire to control everything and everyone while having no self-control—being reckless—and thereby, what we now see is a perversion of principles and laws and a bloodthirst for the trappings of the world.

For a species that claims to hate labels and being placed in boxes, it’s amazing how many millions of people keep labeling themselves and squeezing themselves into those teeny tiny boxes associated with religion, politics, etc.

Spirituality is the freedom that religiosity claims to provide. Spirituality is all-ness and limitless. Every element of life is woven in, and the vastness is incomprehensible and incalculable.

Religion says “us versus them,” and this is underlined by the divisions and numerous denominations within the divisions and the constant in-fighting and external wars and martyrdoms. While spirituality says “we” and that “we” includes every living thing, from an atom to the largest being, we each play a role in protecting, respecting, valuing, and uplifting the “we” in its entirety.

Religion can restrict itself to the belief of “Either/Or,” while spirituality simply IS and will always be, so its power includes the “and.” It lives and thrives no matter what. It is not restricted or diminished. It IS whether we acknowledge it or not. Spirit is power; it is Source. There are no pretenses. Just an IS. Religion is only possible if fueled by human engagement. Religion is limited by time and space. Spirit was here before humans were an idea. Spirit has no limits and is timeless. Spirit can be both here and there and then and now.

Let that sink in.

Religion jockeys for position and often demands to be seen and heard, while spirituality is seeing and hearing. Religion is the practice, but spirituality is the way. Religion is made up of laws, but spirituality is the order. Religion can bring people together, but spirituality forms the bonds of those relationships. Spirituality shapes the core values that guide you through life, religion (if you choose it), and the unknowns.

Religion demands there is a leader (or several). Spirituality reveals that we neither lead nor are led; we merely gravitate to similar, cooperative energy. We are not dependent upon one or a few; we are dependent upon all, and since we continue to choose to exclude, we continue to thirst and hunger for what we don’t know that we don’t know.

Spirituality is neither good nor evil. It simply IS. Spirituality is both black and white, and every shade and color between. How you harness that energy will either heal or harm, build or destroy, form bridges or walls, set free or enslave, include or exclude, create equity or inequity, unify or divide, and enlighten or stultify.

When we read in the Bible to “pray in the Spirit,” it’s not saying “pray in your Jewish/Christian spirit,” it’s not praying in or by the religion, for the Spirit is greater than and more powerful than all religions combined. Religion is a bubble. Spirit makes the bubble possible.

For me, spirituality is the Armor of God as described by Ephesians 6:10-18 in the Bible.

Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one.

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people.”

The purpose of religion was to join you with others who willingly walk beside you on the battleground, to fight those spiritual forces mentioned throughout the Bible and other religious texts. The purpose was to remind you that you are not alone, your experiences are not unique, and you have a safe space for interdependent learning and recharging.

But of course, all that I’ve shared in this post is based on my opinion and experiences. You may have a different opinion with vastly different experiences. And I respect those differences, with no desire to change you or convert you to my side and my ways.

All I want for you is to be all that you were created to be, and you can do that without trying to control or dictate how anyone else chooses to embrace the journey to their truth.

That’s the balance spirituality provides and one major reason why it’s so important to me.

~Natasha

Copyright 2023. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

I’m sitting here with a heavy heart and something popped in my mind that has allowed me to reflect on the act of gossip.

Definition of gossip

Oxford Languages defines gossip as:

casual or unconstrained conversation or reports about other people, typically involving details that are not confirmed as being true.

he became the subject of much local gossip

A gossip is a person who likes talking about other people’s private lives.

Our choice to gossip says more about us than the person we’re blabbing our mouths about.

As though we don’t have enough on our own plates, running through our own minds, we choose to take time to talk about someone else’s life (past and present). But maybe that’s why we do it, why we choose to gossip— about family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, coworkers, and strangers. We want something and someone else to talk about besides our mess, flaws, fears, insecurities, shortcomings, failures, and incompetencies. A-ha, we aren’t the only ones hiding things, doing silly or ignorant things, making fools of ourselves, or feeling lonely or embarrassed.

Maybe it’s the person who always dishes dirt on others or is conniving and spiteful, and now there’s dirt on them and the temptation is great to throw that dirt everywhere so other people can see this now-exposed person.

Have we been socially conditioned to dish dirt on others, to “spill the tea,” to repost “the receipts, that we’ve grown numb to the reality that we are talking about someone else behind their back, knowing we don’t like it when people do it to us? Most of us are guilty of it. Even when we think it’s harmless chatter, we know we wouldn’t broach the topic directly to the person we’re talking about, and definitely not the same way we’re sharing it with others.

How did the word gossip evolve from its late Old English origins to what we’re doing today? Back then, the word was godsibb, meaning ‘godfather, godmother, baptismal sponsor’, literally ‘a person related to one in God’ to the Middle English view of ‘a close friend, a person with whom one gossips’, hence ‘a person who gossips’, later (early 19th century) ‘idle talk’.

It reminds me of something I heard a pastor, Bryan Crute, say (circa 2009), and I’m paraphrasing, “… It doesn’t even matter if what you’re sharing is true, what matters is that your intent is not to help the person—just talk about their situation. If you aren’t bringing them solutions keep their circumstances out of your mouth.”

Something just hit me — even if they asked you to seek help for them from others, we don’t have the right to share the intimate and vulnerable details of their life with others. Bring the help and let the person who owns the story decide if they want to share it.

We have a lot of growing and maturing to do. We must be better trees, planted in better soil. Our roots are exposed.

~ Natasha

Grateful for God’s grace and mercy — making it possible for me to celebrate the 12th year of my business, Foreman & Associates.

This isn’t my first business, but it’s the one I’ve had the longest, and has rewarded and challenged me the most.

Lord knows there were days, weeks, months, and yes, even years, of doubt— wondering if one more push was worth it, especially during trying times like the global pandemic.

The journey can be lonely as a founder, owner, CEO, entrepreneur, managing director, or whatever title you want to give yourself. But it’s vital to your survival that you remember that although a lot rests on your shoulders, you aren’t alone, and as long as you have a beating heart, breath in your lungs, and ideas in your mind, you CAN create, reinvent, innovate, redesign, and reset just about any daggum thing you desire! 😉

I’m excited for what today holds and what the future whispers.

Special thanks to clients, past and present. It has been an honor and privilege to work with you. You have challenged me to be better, do better, and deliver more. Thank you for trusting me and allowing Foreman & Associates to push you through your comfort zones!!!

I’m grateful for the opportunities to share my knowledge and wisdom through the various products and services Foreman & Associates, LLC offers. I’m excited about the changes and moves that we’ll be making this month, next month, and later this year.

I love what I do and I will keep doing it as long as I feel that daily push and pull. I look forward to learning and sharing more during these next 12 years!

~ Natasha

Managing Director at Foreman & Associates, LLC

Pin this message from Alex Elle in your home, car, workspace, and anywhere else you need a reminder📌

And know that what is for YOU may disrupt your “Now” so that you can be properly aligned, but what it WON’T bring is chaos and confusion. When that piece pushes out your clutter and nonsense, it will fit perfectly in its rightful place, bringing you the clarity to see with clear vision the path and the unfolding plans for your future.

But if we keep holding on to the clutter of worn out, misused, and forgotten things, dead relationships, and toxic internal messaging, we stay in a state of confusion and we accept the chaos as our norm. Neither are intended for our lives.

~ Natasha
NatashaForeman.com

Image of man at the beach with an Eckhart Tolle quote “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.”

I saw this Eckhart Tolle quote two days ago and saved it. “Stress is caused by being ‘here’ but wanting to be ‘there’.”

It’s okay to be in a blizzard (here) wishing you were in a calmer and warmer climate (there). It’s when we try to CONTROL our minds to think entirely or mostly of ‘there’ that we can get into trouble. Think about what your mind and body undergo when you obsess over things you can’t control and neglect to see the information, lessons, and growth built in the ‘now.’

Yesterday, I sat in a group session with a Buddhist Monk. Are you shocked? If you truly know me, then you shouldn’t be. 😉 Anywho, he basically said (as I’m paraphrasing), “…the past has already happened; it’s gone and can’t be reclaimed or changed, the future is a dream yet to be determined, and just like our minds are impermanent, the present is an impermanent moment that is subject to change.”

As I type this, I think of the Bible study plan “Cover to Cover: The Story of the Bible” (by Renew Devotionals, available in the YouVersion Bible app), and Day 49 covers “The Supremacy of Christ: Colossians.” The author of the plan reflected on how we pray to God (often begging for a change of our present circumstances), and instead of waiting and trusting Him to intervene on our behalf, we rush to fix and control things, then we panic when we blunder, and THEN we say “Okay, God I trust and wait for You.”

We’re not willing to sit in the present. We’re too busy struggling to get to the future or the impossible past. We claim we want vision, discernment, clarity, and patience but then panic and freak out when we see what we can’t control.

Business Mentor Darren Hardy often speaks of humans craving “more more more,” always seeking bigger and better, never being satisfied with what we have, later regretting our decisions, and then pining for a past that we can no longer have.

Taking in these perspectives and the Eckhart Tolle quote and running with these insights, what choice will you make?

  1. Will you CHOOSE to be present and aware, even uncomfortable, in your moment, knowing that circumstances are subject to change in the next moment (the future)?
  2. Or will you obsess over the possibilities of the future and/or yearn for a past you can no longer have?

Will you accept that your ‘here’ is now and possibly waiting to unfold and be shaped, and that ‘there’ is either gone (because it’s in the past) or it’s yet to be determined (because it’s in the future)?

Will you choose mindfulness or stress?

~Natasha
NatashaForeman.com

I found this video by USA Today that provides some historical facts about Women’s History Month that I would like to share with you. Please watch/listen before proceeding to the rest of my message.

As we begin to wrap up the month of March, let’s reflect on the things we did and said this month to celebrate, uplift, and empower women of all ages and backgrounds.

In what ways were you an ally, advocate, or bridge builder?

In what ways did you chip away at those glass ceilings?

How were you a unifying voice?

What steps did you take this month to help change the common practice of “This is how we’ve always done it”?

Don’t underestimate the impact of compounded efforts.

Wanting more for women doesn’t mean wanting less for men. Lifting a woman up doesn’t mean tearing, kicking, or holding a man down. Empowering women doesn’t mean weakening men. Protecting women doesn’t mean abandoning men. Freedom for women doesn’t mean enslavement of men. A woman’s identity is not and should not be defined by the emasculation of men. We’re not breaking glass ceilings just to force men into glass rooms. When you hear or read that type of nonsense, speak up.

Society ceases to exist if we are not both here, living and contributing. The world is filled with chaos and confusion if we’re not both thriving.

Let’s stop the “Either” “Or” merry-go-round, and let’s instead embrace the power of “And”.

This month is in celebration of all women, not just some, not just the pioneers who pushed through barriers, but all women— of every status, orientation, title, ethnicity, shade of color, nationality, religion, weight, height, and background. Let’s continue and build upon our efforts in the months that follow.

Love,

Natasha

Please vote for my cousin, Amaia Stephens to be the next high school girls soccer player featured on VYPE High School Sports.

Voting ends on Feb 16th.

You can vote as often as you like. Just make sure you’re clicking on Amaia Stephens 😊

I’m extremely proud of her. She’s an awesome person, student, and athlete!

Here’s the link, click to vote for Amaia! You can also click on the image below.

Thanking you in advance!

~ Natasha

Seeing this quote from Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. reminded me of a conversation I had years ago with his youngest daughter, Dr. Bernice A. King. We were discussing different topics that her parents were passionate about and interested in pursuing before they passed. We discussed the holiday dedicated to her father’s birthday and legacy, and whether people should take the day off or not. She said that people should consider it a “day of service” whether you’re scheduled to work or have the day off. 

When I reflect on this image of her father; a man I never knew but grew up admiring, and always wondering how he carried such a heavy burden, and why his wife, Coretta, constantly encouraged him to do so, I can’t help but to wonder if you and I are doing enough to be the change we want to see in the world (taking from a Mahatma Gandhi quote). Dr. King wasn’t just concerned about self, or just his family and friends. He wasn’t just fighting for equality, equity, inclusion, and justice for Black people. Dr. King was fighting for all people. He was murdered before his Poor People’s Campaign could take flight and soar. It wasn’t a Poor Black People’s Campaign. Yes, Dr. King was thinking of struggling Black people (then called Negroes or Colored) but he was also ambitiously pursuing right-siding the lives of poor and struggling white, Indigenous, Latino/Hispanic, and Asian people. Dr. King was trying to tap into the hearts and minds of those who had the economic and political power to bring the evolutionary change this country and world still desperately needs.

See, Black people started gaining political power and it’s clear that politicians look at our voting habits and strength to determine how much they need to invest to counter that power. But Black people don’t have enough political power to gain social equity and justice, so that there’s no longer a need for rallies crying out that Black Lives Matter too. Dr. King’s dream is still unfulfilled in that area. And Black people, collectively, don’t have the economic power to self-determine where we live and what schools our children attend. We have a strong consumer position but when it comes to jobs and real estate, we keep missing the mark, and that’s because those in power keep moving the mark. This is also why we see a painfully large working class across this great nation filled with faces of many colors and shades.

It’s not just poor Black people. It’s tons of poor everyone, everywhere. And I think Dr. King was seeing this algorithm lining up and before he could get all of the poor people together on one accord, he was assassinated and silenced.

We don’t need a “new Dr. King” or even a substitute, to lead the way. History has shown us over the past 50 years that those options are not the solutions to our problems. We don’t need a human savior or superheroes to swoop in and rescue us. We need everyone, regardless of demographic categories, to see themselves— flaws and all, as Dr. King and others before him did, passionate about achieving our dreams. Dr. King didn’t do what he did alone. There were hundreds and thousands of people doing their part, making it possible for him to go before presidents, vice presidents, business leaders, religious leaders, and politicians.

We need to be focused on doing our part to create communities that aren’t fear-driven, plagued by nightmarish thoughts of “them” coming for “us”. That toxic and warped seed has sadly been watered for thousands of years and it’s long overdue to be cut down and turned into a bonfire. The right kind. Bring out the s’mores and hot cocoa!

What are YOU doing for others? Better yet, what are you doing that you AREN’T paid to do?

It doesn’t matter if you’re on or off the clock today, what are YOU committed to doing today for others?

What are you doing to help break negative stereotypes, to overcome toxic biases, to build bridges and not walls, to include others and amplify their voices? How will you be of service to someone else today? How can you help lighten someone else’s load? Can you go grocery shopping for an elderly, sick, injured, or overworked neighbor? Can you buy a person a meal and bless them with conversation?

What can you do to help improve the conditions in your (or another) community? What small efforts can you make that can be replicated and built upon, to have an even greater impact?

Have you noticed that the most diverse cities in our country are also the most segregated? Go figure. Look at the data. Los Angeles, Atlanta, Dallas, New York City, etc. Look at the soaring cost of housing in these and other major cities (and neighboring lesser known cities). 

We can complain until we take our last breath. Or we can rise each day focused on small compounded victories.

Rather than focus on the pain of seeing Dr. King’s dream still unfulfilled, we can instead make the choice to do our part to be difference makers.
We need more servant leaders and less self-serving ones. You don’t need to wait for your local and national politicians to do for you what you have been called to do for yourself.

What will YOU do today and moving forward to:

  • Beautify a community 
  • Empower those who feel powerless
  • Be a listening ear and voice for the voiceless
  • Speak up and against those who cause harm to people, communities, our planet
  • Help bring greater equity in schools, workplaces, neighborhoods, cities, counties, etc.
  • Help to expose fear for what it is, speak truth to lies, and address misinformation and propaganda with facts and a magnifying glass
  • Encourage someone to pursue their dreams and ignore the naysayers

What will you do today (and moving forward) to be a better person than you were the day before?

These are some of the things we can do to not only honor Dr. Martin Luther King, but to also honor the giants that catapulted him, the ancestors who empowered him to do and say the unimaginable, and risk it all for a dream.

These are the things we can do to honor the life and legacy of our loved ones, who have passed, who also had passionate dreams that are still waiting to be fulfilled. Think of your 2nd, 3rd, 4th, 5th, 6th-plus great grandparents and the dreams they had, some fulfilled and some still holding strong, waiting for you and I to grasp ahold and make them a reality.

Don’t treat today as a day-off or just another day. Let today serve as a reminder that you have been chosen and empowered to do many things in your lifetime, and when you take your last few breaths and memories flash before you, what will you remember most? Will you think of the unpaid bills or the yacht you never bought? Or will you think of the lives you touched and the ones that touched you?

What legacy are you building and preparing to leave behind? Be intentional about today, with your day, everyday!

 Love always,

Natasha Foreman

Yep, guns and drugs were dropped off in neighborhoods. They made their way, like a plague, to rural and impoverished areas.

You can call it a twisted “social experiment” and guess what? Many of us did exactly what was expected.

We picked up, used, and resold those guns and drugs. We manufactured and modified them. We got our children, mothers, fathers, and grandparents to smuggle, sell, and use them. We’re so hooked on them that we will kill to keep them.

Guns and INCREASED Violence

Let me start this section off by saying, I’m not against guns. I come from a family of gun owners. So don’t roll your eyes and think I’m attacking guns, owners rights, etc.

In the US, we have more guns in our homes and on the streets than ever before, yet our country is less safer. The bigger and the more rounds they’ll carry, the more rabid we act over them. We’re looking for a slaughterhouse effect. It’s no longer a standing conviction about our right to protect ourselves from the government bursting in our doors, armed to the teeth, because we pick and choose who has the right to bear arms against law enforcement and military. We choose whose life matters.

We are the boogie man we warn children about. We’re obsessed with death, killing, and maiming. Although we’re not trying to be the ones with a bullet lodged in our head or body. We want the perceived power the weapon gives us but we don’t want to take responsibility for the bullet when it achieves its purpose.

Part of this madness is our obsession with violence and the other part is that people are scared and the gun gives a false sense of security. The truth is that no one wants to take an old fashioned butt kicking anymore. No one wants to ball up their fists and risk getting their tail handed to them. No one’s willing to risk getting body slammed and hospitalized. Nope. It’s much easier to grab that gun and pull the trigger, knowing you could end more than one life in that moment.

Let me say this again, I’m not against guns. I’m a gun owner. Let’s be clear on what I am against.

I’m against fools recklessly pulling the trigger, especially on weapons that were designed for war, weapons issued to our military. Some of our law enforcement agencies don’t even have these guns. Why? Because they were designed for war and given to soldiers, not to people who were sworn to maintain and try to create peace.

Look, it’s simple, unless we’re facing a zombie attack, we don’t need those type of guns in the hands of regular Joe and Jane Blow, and definitely not in the hands of ole’ Karen — she’ll end up accidentally killing her poodle in the chaos, and then blaming her intended target for her lack of skill and control under pressure, and then try to sue the victims family for pain and suffering. Before I continue, let me apologize to poodles everywhere. I mean you no offense or harm.

When the Second Amendment was created, people were using muskets and flintlock pistols. You had to be intentional and strategic. Now folks are running around with M2s, M4s, M16s, M240s, M249s, some with firing ranges of more than 2,600 feet. There’s no perceived threat in the US that you can justify shooting at more than 2,600 feet away, and if it’s within five feet of you, imagine the damage you will create if you have no trigger control (or just want to be reckless) and shoot more than one round. And I can already hear someone saying, “Well where’s the fun in only shooting one round?” Well, if you’re a good shot, then one round will do whatever you aimed to do— disable them or send them to their Maker. Multiple rounds is a great way to secure your spot in hell, if there is one.

Look at the disease we’ve allowed to grow and fester in our neighborhoods and throughout our country. Yet we call other nations savages when we see the violence they endure. This is both ironic and hypocritical.

Trafficking and Violence

We even allowed pimping, prostitution, and trafficking to take place in our communities. We didn’t think twice about a woman or child being rented, traded, or sold for sex or other twisted forms of gratification. When we hear stories about victims what’s the common questions and statements we hear some people say in response?

  • “How do we know they’re telling the truth?
  • “Was it consensual?”
  • “Maybe that’s the line of work they want to be in”
  • “They shouldn’t have ran away from home”
  • “If they didn’t want to be there they could’ve left”
  • “They obviously don’t come from a good and supportive family”
  • “How could they have not gotten away?”
  • “They wouldn’t have been pimped if they weren’t out there hoeing”
  • “They’re runaways, they wanted to be there”
  • “Well look at their social media profile, they’re not so innocent”

We scrutinize, ridicule, shame, vilify, dehumanize, and blame the victim. Especially if the victim is financially poor.

Even now, we have all been informed of the thousands of women and children being sold as sex and domestic slaves. We hear and read reports that many of the girls and women we are seeing on porn sites can also be sex slaves in trafficking rings. Some are drugged up to make the act seem consensual. We know this, but it’s not slowing down the number of views, downloads, and subscriptions. Just the opposite. We’re literally helping to finance the renting, selling, and raping of people. We’re helping the profiteers to become millionaires and multi-millionaires. Someone’s daughter, sister, niece, granddaughter is a sex slave. She could be your daughter, sister, niece, cousin, granddaughter.

Add in the Drugs and Gangs

We’ve watched our families implode because of drugs, gun violence, pimping, and trafficking. We’ve gone to more funerals than weddings because of this nonsense. We keep seeing the deaths, the overdoses, the shootings, the rape cases, the discarded bodies.

We even sing and rap about dealers, gangsters, and pimps—glorifying them like idols. How are they not our gods when we talk about them and interact with them more than we speak to and about our spiritual God? We know more about them than we do about Him.

Our federal and state governments have spent the past 50 years criminalizing drug users and addicts, forcing them into redefined plantation systems, giving longer prison sentences based on what feels like a color coding formula. And in states that have chosen to treat the addiction rather than punish the user, they have seen a remarkable and positive trend taking place. They’re seeking to help the people with dignity and it’s having a positive impact. Yet, the majority of US states along with the federal authorities, choose to continue the process of criminalization, all while wondering why their statistics keep getting worse year after year, decade after decade.

Just like the government botched their war on poverty in the 1960s and 1970s, and our country is still suffering from those reckless decisions, we are experiencing the same whiplash effect with these other declarations of war. I will share my thoughts on the poverty war later. But let me ask you again…

Is there really a war on drugs, violence, and human trafficking?

Who Are We Protecting?

Are our children and women not valuable enough to protect?

Because clearly they’re being rented and sold at high volume. Someone has created a lucrative lifestyle selling and trading our people as commodities. We are enslaved. It’s just this time it’s not just by force. Some of us willingly have put on these shackles. Some of us are willingly serving as overseers and drivers on this ever-growing plantation system. Some of us are willingly entertaining the owners with our shucking, jiving, fetching, stepping, singing, dancing, and acting. And just like hundreds of years ago, some of us are selling and owning our own people.

Look how we protect celebrities, swearing they’re not guilty of their crimes, even though you weren’t there to witness any of it. All because they’re a celebrity and you still want to sing their songs, watch their tv shows, movies, stand up comedic performances, or wear their team jersey. All because none of the victims were wealthy and powerful enough to seek and gain justice immediately after they were victimized.

We have politicians in office and those who recently left office, who have been accused of sexual misconduct, solicitation, rape, molestation, and having sexual relations with minor-age sex workers. Stop chalking up stuff as “locker room talk” or “boys will be boys”, or “men will be men”.

Why do folks give these predators a pass?

Because the girls and women aren’t wealthy enough and powerful enough to have clobbered these predators and had them locked up soon after they were violated. They weren’t deemed important enough to have been taken seriously. For many, it required multiple victims to come forward before anyone entertained the idea of seeking justice for them. And as we’ve seen before, sometimes even that is just a formality, a box checked for optics sake. Had these children and women come from families of influence, this would be a nonissue because the violators would’ve been locked up.

Where is the accountability?

This isn’t about politics. This isn’t even about the wealthy versus the working class. This is about human rights and dignity.

Don’t you think it’s atrocious that we always want proof of sexual crimes? We want to further violate the victim. We want them to relive having their power stripped and stomped upon. We do the same thing with domestic violence. We want to see the bruises, blood, and gore.

Is there really a war on drugs, violence, and human trafficking?

And For Y’all Bible Folks

Do you want to know why Adam and Eve were cursed?

They didn’t take responsibility for giving into temptation. Eve blamed the serpent. Adam blamed Eve and then went a step farther and blamed God for giving him Eve. Yep, the serpent told Adam and Eve about the fruit and said God lied to them about why He didn’t want them eating it. But the serpent didn’t make them eat it. That was their choice and then it was their choice to not take responsibility for their actions.

Even with Eve taking the first bite, Adam could’ve held her accountable and said, “Sucks to be you, I’m gonna miss you when you’re gone, because God told you the consequences”. And then ran and told God the truth about what went down. Adam could’ve chosen to say to the serpent, “No thank you. We’re doing just fine” and walked away from the serpent, convincing Eve to leave with him. Instead he gave in to the temptation and took no responsibility for his actions. It was everyone else’s fault that he made a reckless choice.

Our Responsibility and Complicity

Let’s be clear, we are just as responsible for the monsters that live amongst us because we give them the pass to breed chaos everywhere they go. We elect them to office, we finance their lifestyle, and we don’t hold them accountable.

Sadly, some of us are also monsters.

We use guns and drugs against our own people, wiping out generations, and freeing up neighborhoods to be gentrified. Then we complain that our neighborhoods are no longer our own, and that we’re priced out of the market. Or we watch rural communities turn into ghost towns that are later gobbled up by developers who build overpriced subdivisions and resorts on the land that our families once lived on for several generations.

Yes, the ones who dropped the temptation at our feet should be held accountable. Yes, the ones who financially benefit from our incarceration and enslavement should be held accountable. And those of us who choose to give into the temptation, should also be held accountable. Those of us who see it all and say absolutely nothing, should be held accountable too! Every time we say, “That’s none of my business” when we see or hear someone being victimized, we are complicit in that crime.

Is there really a war on drugs, violence, and human trafficking?

We can protest in front of government offices, police stations, corporations, and the houses of racists. We can post online profiles of the “Karen’s” and contact the media and her job to expose her. We can pull out our phones and record violence against us at the hands of police and others. But where’s our protesting and social media posting of houses, buildings, and warehouses of known drug, gang, sex and human trafficking terrorists? They are terrorizing your neighborhood. They aren’t foreign threats. They’re your neighbors. They’re your family members. You grew up with them.

Someone left the explosives but we detonated them, re-upped, and let off more.

Is there really a war on drugs, violence, and human trafficking?

We weren’t solely buying drugs and guns from people who didn’t look like us, who didn’t live in our neighborhoods and towns. Nope. We bought from folks who grew up on the same streets as us, attended the same schools and houses of faith as us, who go to the same barber shops and beauty salons as us.

We know them. We know they’re selling death or the means to make death a reality real quick for someone. We even created a code of silence to protect the pushers and peddlers of these evil vices. We treat them like royalty, like gods, something to respect and fear. The more money we give them the more they launder, and the richer and wealthier they become. They leach off of our neighborhoods and drain the life and light right out, and then they have the audacity to relocate their family to better neighborhoods, while keeping their operations running like a gas station or convenience store.

In your neighborhood. In your community.

You may even know where they operate. But you say and do nothing because you fear retaliation. You fear they’ve paid off the police to turn a blind eye. But here’s the thing, we had a chance to keep that crap out of our neighborhoods, to disincentivize infiltrating law enforcement ranks with payola. But we wouldn’t ban together.

We did and we do nothing, while the ones on the lower rungs of the ladder face decades or lifetimes in prison, all because they believed the hype and thought that being “about that life” would reward them with a better life. They were recruited because their lives didn’t matter. They were collateral damage. They are merely pawns in a global game of human currency.

You can’t reasonably pursue justice against one group of people while protecting their co-conspirators.

Is there really a war on drugs, violence, and human trafficking?

If we want to rid our homes, streets, and neighborhoods of violence and poison, we need to stop looking to the people who offloaded the mess onto us to now free us from the mess they created. We need to stop hoping the neighborhood terrorists will change their ways and give up that lifestyle, to redeem the community.

We must free and save ourselves.

Stop expecting empathy, remorse, and reparations from someone who is clearly apathetic to and economically benefiting from your plight.

~Natasha

I know many of you read the title of this post and scratched your head. Yes, I know that the majority of us didn’t plop into this world by immaculate conception. Our parents got busy, handled their business, and roughly nine months later we made our debut. Today I want to talk about your parents and something important that I think they would want you to know.

We don’t know fully what our parents lives were like before we entered this world. We can’t fully comprehend how our arrival impacted their lives. We know what we’ve been told but we don’t truly know. We can guess.

Did your parents grow up in a healthy home environment, or was it toxic? Did they dream of having children and raising a family? Or did “life happen” and being a parent became the job they had to accept?

We know that they had dreams and goals, desires and wishes. There were places that they wanted to visit, things they wanted to do, people they wanted to meet. Maybe they fulfilled all of these things before or after you were born, maybe not.

Did they buy that house, car, boat, or motorcycle they wanted? Did they achieve their academic goals they had set? What about their professional pursuits?

What did they have to sacrifice, modify, give up to ensure that your needs were met? In what ways did they prepare for your future? In what ways did they help you to prepare?

Do you have siblings? What values did your parents instill in you and if applicable, your siblings? How were you raised to see the family unit? What were you taught about how to treat your relatives? If you have siblings, what did your parents tell you about that special relationship and what they expected of you as siblings?

Did your parents raise you to work hard for everything you wanted or did you grow up spoiled and entitled, receiving whatever you requested? Did you have chores or did someone else do the work for you? Did you participate in extracurricular activities like sports, music, arts, or various camps? Or was your childhood spent playing outdoors, playing make believe with neighborhood friends? Or was it all of that and more?

What did they teach you about money, budgeting, investing, and having a financial portfolio?

If your parents are still alive, do they have their finances and estate in order? Do they have their living will, living trust, and any other legal instruments prepared? Have they discussed with you and your siblings (if applicable) about their desires for how and where they want to live if they become incapacitated or simply too overwhelmed with managing their home and lifestyle? Have they discussed if they want to live at their home, yours, with your sibling(s), at a senior living community, or other location? Have they discussed how they want their estate is to be handled upon their transition from this life? How are finances and property to be managed?

If they haven’t handled these things and haven’t had multiple conversations with you, now is the time to get those things in order, and have this serious conversation.

If your parents are no longer living, did they handle the matters of their estate before transitioning? Was everything managed properly? How did you and your siblings (if applicable) deal with this huge change?

Was there or has there been drama surrounding the care of your parent(s), their money, property, etc?

I can guarantee you that if your parents have savings, retirement plans, an investment portfolio, and any property, the last thing they want is for you to squander what they worked hard to achieve. The last thing they want is for you to be arguing and fighting over stuff, especially their stuff. The last thing they want is you plotting and planning against them, against your siblings, to gain access to your parents money and property. The last thing they want is to see that ugliness rise out of you and ooze all over, contaminating everything and everyone in your reach. The last thing they want is to regret working so hard to have things, to provide a lifestyle, just to watch it all taken for granted.

Your parents don’t want you acting ugly over money and things you can’t even take with you when you transition from this life.

If your parent(s) are living well and independent, in their home, then the last thing they’re thinking about is you plotting to remove them from that home without their consent, so you can liquidate it or turn it into an investment property. Or worse, you mismanage it and lose it in foreclosure or something. The last thing they’re thinking about is you blowing through their cash and assets, like a reckless maniac. The last thing on their mind is their child, you, destroying their reputation and name. Even if they did it to their parents, it’s highly unlikely that they think you would do it to them. Unless of course they live for cynicism or believe in karma.

Sadly, what your parents don’t expect you to do is exactly what so many of you have done or will do. So much ugliness lurking inside, waiting to explode all over and destroy everything and everyone your parents love. It’s disturbing to see adult children plotting and planning to neglect and abuse their parents through twisted guardianships, forcing them into nursing homes and rarely if ever visiting them. Or finding ways to convince medical professionals that their parents are suffering from Alzheimer’s-Dementia or are impaired in some other way, so they can gain the control they so desperately want over their parents lives and finances.

Some of you aren’t even risking big money. Nope, your plotting for social security checks and maybe a house that needs more in repairs, cost-wise, than you could get from selling it. What are you going to do after you’ve sold all of their cars, antiques, jewelry, and dodads?

You’re going to be miserable, that’s what. And guess what else? If you have children, and they’re anything like you, they will do to you what you have done to your parent(s). Karma baby, it’s real and it’s going to bring you what you put out!

Get your heart, mind, relationships and life right!

~Natasha

It’s been a rough 2022, yet, it’s also been a blessed year. I’m checking in with my updates and checking on you to see how you’re navigating life’s seas and storms. We shouldn’t go based on social media posts because those are deceptive.

I’m not where I expected, but I’m grateful for all I have and am in awe of what I’ve learned and experienced. I’m limiting my exposure to social media and news reports. I grab fifteen-minute bites daily and don’t allow myself to get dragged down the rabbit hole. It’s too toxic, suffocating, and depressing to spend much longer than that, so when I do, I intentionally steer towards inspirational and comical posts. I also seek artistic posts that pique my interest in dreaming about my future home and writing space.

I’ve noticed that when I run across news reports and commentary about politics, one of the “isms” plaguing the land, or how politicians and influential gatekeepers are stripping human rights, I feel my rage build up. I find my anxiety kicking in when I see injustice and the blatant disregard for human life because the body that houses that life has dark skin, or a vagina, or both. I feel like my insides are boiling when I hear and read snarky remarks from people who think this country was best when women and people of color didn’t have any rights and little girls as young as 10-years-old could be married or bedded.

There are a lot of folks out there acting like they wish this was 1860. But here’s the thing: they aren’t ready for what they’re masterminding behind closed doors and in plain sight. They aren’t ready for the breed of Americans who have been restraining themselves for years, often guided by the loving principles taught by their spiritual leaders and religious beliefs. When people grow sick and tired of crying, marching, protesting, kneeling, compromising, asking, re-phrasing, educating, negotiating, pleading, and praying for people to stop doing evil and calling it righteous — what do you think those people will do when they reach their breaking point?

It will not be as romanticized and fantasized at rallies and private banquets. This world is dealing with new generations tired of being enslaved by modern shackles on redefined plantations.

For my health and wellness, I have decided to disconnect from the outside world as often and for as long as needed. I’m grateful for the apps and features on my devices, that have helped restrict my access to the Internet. I swear it sometimes feels like some horror movies I used to love watching, where demons work aggressively to take over. I have to remain optimistic that there is more good than evil out there, fighting back and saying, “No daggum way!”

I refuse to be a cynic. I refuse to believe that evil is prevailing.

I’ve also decided that I will pray over and release those things I can’t control and change. Some things are above my pay grade and job title. I’ve stopped searching online for places in the world where a Black woman can feel safe and protected because I ran out of options. Do you know how scary that is to wrap your mind around? There are days when I wonder why I’m both feared and despised—yet highly imitated and modeled. The irony.

The news outlets are driven by the rabid nature of the horrific events we see. My television isn’t allowed to click on the news. I gather quickly what I need from online sources that I still have to fact-check because the rush to publish first has blinded many so-called journalists from getting the truth and facts before releasing the news. It feels like there’s racism, colorism, sexism, and classism every few posts online, and that’s just four isms.

The microaggressions that cause people to defensively tell the people that they’ve offended, that they are being “too soft” or “don’t have a sense of humor” or “too politically correct” or whatever gaslighting technique that has been seminar-style taught to people over the past 15 years, makes choice words build up inside of me until they’re ready to explode and drown out their ignorance with plenty of my own.

Oh, I could horrify sailors and truck drivers with my words if I wanted to, but I’m tired of carrying this rage. I’m tired of feeling this way solely because I have to protect myself from other people who only feel superior when they’re oppressing, silencing, beating, or killing other people.

I choose to hold on to my peace, fight for my peace, and dare anyone to try and steal my joy. I’m tired of negotiating with my mind the acceptability of entertaining hypocrites, sellouts, opportunists, and those who profit from the toxic cycle of the status quo. I refuse to vote for or financially support people who benefit from maintaining the status quo while they talk about “change” for publicity’s sake. I’m not voting for politicians to live comfortably while I and others struggle. I’m tired of the pimping going on, and I’ll be damned if I spend my days feeling like I’m working the corner.

So, I’ve decided to be intentional with my interactions online. I pop in, share, enjoy the awesome contributions of others, and then I pop out. I won’t let this world take hold of my mind, spirit, and soul. It can limit where I live and what I can buy, but it will not have what is most precious to me.

That’s my check-in. What about you?

How are you feeling?

If you could identify with one of the emoticons above, which would you select?

How are you navigating this world?

How are you managing the chaos and confusion?

I hope you’re putting yourself first, your health and wellbeing first. I hope you are more concerned with being unique and living well than fitting in and following trends. I hope that you recognize yourself when you look in the mirror or play back a recording of your voice. Don’t allow yourself to be taken over by this matrix.

Love,

Natasha

Copyright 2022. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.