Hello world!

It’s been awhile. Yep, as life has been slamming and back-flipping me, I noticed that I haven’t made the time to reach out and tap out some words to share with all of you. Right now the ref has called a time out, so let me quickly draw you in to my mind, heart, and world.

If you don’t know, I wrote a book and workbook that was published in October 2020. Yep. “SEEK HIM, Volume 1: Testing Your Spiritual Comfort Zone” and “SEEK HIM: Workbook 1”. Volume 2 and Volume 3, along with their companion workbooks, are being released this year. I got full-nelsoned a few times the past two months so hence the delay with my final sign-off on Volume 2. But if you haven’t been reading Volume 1, then my delay isn’t impeding your progress, so we’re all good. LOL! Okay I digress…

Well, from time to time, I like to share excerpts from my books to engage with those of you who are reading them as well as those of you who haven’t made that investment to walk with me in this testing-your-spiritual-comfort-zone experience.

Today I decided to share excerpts from Day 75 with my Breaking Bread family. If you’re scratching your head in confusion right now, that means you don’t follow my spiritual blog, “Breaking Bread With Natasha” and that’s all good. I probably don’t follow your blog either, so be sure to introduce yourself, so we can check out each other’s blogs.

I shared more today on my blog than I intended. That’s what happens when I take off the filters and let things flow. The vulnerability kinda makes me feel like a toothache is spreading through my entire mouth. But I’m trying to learn to embrace the discomfort, as it’s part of the growth. I hurry and press “publish” before I have a chance to second-guess and let fear set in.

Now let’s be clear, transparency is not the same as oversharing personal stuff. Some things are supposed to be contained within your mind, home, or at the most your close inner circle. Some of y’all are sharing stuff that no other human needs to know. I mean, maybe your doctor but that’s about it. That ends up being a thirst trap for voyeurs and sadists.

So without further delay, because I’m sure I probably just insulted someone, and there’s a possibility that you’re interested in reading what I had to say about Day 75, my books, and why I get scared reading them, check out today’s message at:

https://breakingbreadwithnatasha.wordpress.com/2021/04/10/day-75-of-seek-him-volume-1/

I don’t mind you laughing here and there while reading my post. I cracked myself up!

To purchase my books visit my publisher’s website: DOMELifePublishing.com

Love ya!

Natasha

Copyright 2021. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Did you purchase my books “Seek Him, Volume 1” AND “Seek Him: Workbook 1”? 

If so, please share a photo of yourself with BOTH books, and tag me @natashalforeman and @domelifepublishing on IG, FB, or Twitter to be entered into a drawing to win a FREE copy of Volume 2 of the Seek Him book series, to be released VERY SOON!

Yes, you read that correctly. If you’ve been tracking with me, you should be well into your copy of Volume 1. Well, Volume 2 picks up where the first book leaves off. Volume 1 covers months 1 through 4, and Volume 2 covers months 5 through 8. That gives you 4 more months, and this next level gets deeper. It goes BEYOND your spiritual comfort zone. So share your pics and tag away, to be entered into the drawing.

The winner will be announced Monday, February 15th.

This has not been the month of tech for me, as I’ve had my share of headaches with the devices that make it possible for me to share my messages and engage with all of you on social media. Two weeks ago my cell phone experienced an internal crash and after days of trying to fix it I had to settle with getting another phone. I then spent several days waiting for the new phone to be delivered, and then there is the transition that we go through when having to re-add content to a new phone, and trying to remember passwords, etc.

It’s been an experience to say the least. I decided to go back to Apple iPhone, from Samsung, and since my Samsung crashed I can’t access content. So this feels more like it did years ago when we first started using smart phones and you had to add the content and download the apps for the very first time. The only difference is, I’m trying to add apps that I already had and remember passwords that keep slipping my mind. I can’t recall all of the names of my apps, because some of them rebranded. I just grew comfortable remembering their logos. Goodness gracious.

I’m still not back up 100% but I’m much farther along than two weeks ago. So please be patient with me over these next several days…heck, even the next few weeks. Thank you.

Love, Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Happy birthday Mom!

Today is bittersweet, because it is my amazing mother’s birthday, and her eldest grandson Bishop isn’t here to celebrate her extra special day.

But rather than focus on the gloom and loss, we’re going to focus on the light and blessings.

Our heavenly Father has blessed my mother, Gwendolyn, with some beautiful decades, years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, and seconds on this beautiful, big planet. We thank Him for this time and thank Him for each and every additional decade that He blesses her with.

He blessed her and continues to bless her with intelligence, knowledge, wisdom, beauty, humor, creativity, compassion, grace, and so much more. He blesses my mother with excellent health and wellness.

We thank Him now for continued excellence in all areas of her life. We thank Him now for uplifting her in areas where she needs support, correcting what needs mending and fixing, and reinforcing all that He sees necessary for reinforcement. We thank Him now for the abundance of spiritual, mental, physical, financial, and social blessings coming her way.

My mother is a servant leader and she desires to be better in all ways, so that she can glorify God, life her life as He envisions, support her family as needed, and do her part to help and uplift other people.

My mom loves her family. She is usually the first to try and coordinate family gatherings. She has been working hard to spruce up her childhood home, my grandparents house, to make it into a family hang out for holidays and other special occasions. Mom is the solution-finder, fixer, quicker picker upper. She loves planning and attending parties and special events. She’s loyal and when she has your back, she’s got your back!

My mom is a social butterfly and I’ve always teased that she could talk to a tree, she’s just that sociable. It’s no wonder she’s been blessed with opportunities, jobs, and careers working with and serving others.

Even her college degree that she busted her butt and earned several years ago, is in a field that is designed to help others. My mom is a giver, thanks to God’s guiding and molding hand. She could’ve chosen not to be, but I’ve known her my entire life, and that’s just not in her character. Mom’s heart is set on pouring into others. Mom sacrifices self for the benefit of others.

I want to be in the position where I can financially support my mother’s dreams. I thank God now for making these visions a reality so that my mother can serve without question of the financial how-to’s. With God blessing her, me, and my sister, I know that He will make a way.

I’m grateful and blessed to have my mother, mom, confidante, and best friend. My mom was my first friend. The first heart I heard beating. I was nourished by her in her womb. Every emotion she felt I also felt. My first impressions in and of life was thanks to my mother. She has never stopped loving, caring, uplifting, supporting, and blessing me, my sister, our family.

Today and every day I celebrate my mom and thank God for blessing me and this planet with her. She is an amazing mother, grandmother, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, and friend.

Mom, I know that today isn’t how you envisioned it last year, the first of this year, last month, or even last week. But I pray that as always, you look closely and see that silver lining, the blessings, and the beauty—and you celebrate it like you’re a big ole’ kid. Smile brightly, laugh hearty, and bust out dancing and singing whenever the Spirit moves you.

Today while at work, treat each person like it is their birthday, and rock this day and the days ahead, like you have the shiniest, sparkliest crown on your head. Because my beloved, you do!

Happy Birthday Mom!

Loving you forever and always,

Natasha

It is with deep sadness, sorrow, and gut-wrenching pain that I share today that yesterday, November 14, 2020, by beloved child, dog, friend, companion, and protector—Bishop Milo Bryant, transitioned from this life.

I struggle to type these words because his presence is so strong, in my heart, mind, spirit, and soul. His presence is so strong in my home, car, and throughout social media—as he has his own IG, FB, and Twitter accounts.

I walk past his bed, cool mat, blanket, water and food area, his toys, and I’m waiting to see him. My heart hurts. My head hurts. My entire body is in agony and I don’t know what else to do except pray for peace within.

I never thought that my initial plans to take him to Lake Lanier for a day out would instead lead to a change of plans the moment we got into my SUV. He was energetic earlier in the day but was lethargic when I returned home with his $19 FreshPet food loaf. I was excited about mixing it up with a sweet potato I cooked him Friday night. I said it had to be yummy if it cost $19. I couldn’t wait to see if Bishop enjoyed it. But Bishop was now lethargic and not interested in food or even his beloved treats.

I thought the drive, good weather, and time at the lake would change his energy. He was excited to go but his energy wasn’t as high as normal.

A family friend had invited us and was waiting in the car when I loaded up the essentials I would need for a day at the lake. Just as I grabbed Bishop’s toys from his cubby in the rear of my SUV, and tossed them in the backseat to entertain and comfort him, my friend told me Bishop’s gums were white. They had been a light pink hours before. Now we were both confused.

No trip to the lake. The only car ride was to the hospital. I jumped in my SUV, told my friend I would keep them posted, and I sped off. I have no clue what they said as I left. My only focus was Bishop.

After not reaching his vet, I called the ER and told them I’m heading their way. Bishop was in the backseat in his hammock, not his normal self. I held one of his paws as I drove. I contacted my sister and friend with updates, and texted our other family friend (and former assistant) to notify him and Bishop’s dad of the latest. I asked my sister to contact my mom to keep her informed.

My friend, who I left waiting outside our home, had pulled up three parking spaces away. There were several cars waiting for care of their beloved pets.

The staff brought me paperwork to complete and then the assistant came and escorted Bishop inside the building, while I followed COVID-19 protocols and waited in my car.

Never did I think this ER visit would be our last together.

I hadn’t contemplated anything as serious as the phone call I received not even 30 minutes later. As I cried on the phone with the doctor, I took detailed notes to share with loved ones who would have questions. I read my notes back to the doctor and she said she couldn’t believe the accuracy of my note-taking. Those kudos only had a light touch because I was being congratulated on my accuracy in a time of duress and horror.

Without sharing the awful diagnosis (and I have no intention in sharing it later, so please don’t ask), I will say that the prognosis shared gave my beloved Bishop Milo 3 to 6 more months of time with me, if (and only if) his surgery and aftercare had no hiccups. The best case scenario was 6 to 12 months, but factoring in his age and breed, the doctor was barely holding on to that level of optimism.

The steps required sounded like anxiety-ridden, stress-inducing, painful moments for my baby. He was already experiencing great anxiety and discomfort every time he returned from the vet and hospital these previous few weeks. It would take days for him to return to normal. I couldn’t fathom what hospitalization, surgery, rehab, and any other procedures would cause his beautiful mind to think and his heart to feel.

My baby is love, light, and high energy. When he’s not feeling good the whole world turns grey around us. Nothing and no one matters during that time except Bishop. My worry and tears would only worry him more. We both leaned on each other for comfort and support. So what would this proposed experience be like for him? For us?

When the doctor warned me of the potential complications during and after surgery, I swear the world stopped rotating for a few moments. I couldn’t comprehend my baby passing away on an operating table, in a recovery crate, on the way home, or any other number of scenarios that were presented. I couldn’t let him think I left him with strangers to experience such traumas.

My son needed to hear, see, feel, and be around his loved ones. My son needed to hear, feel, and know that he is loved, appreciated, and the best son ever. I didn’t want him to leave this level of existence not knowing that he did an amazing job loving on everyone he encountered.

He did an amazing job loving, supporting and protecting me. He did an amazing job caring for me when I was sick, throughout my current and past injuries, and throughout my health scares. When my body doesn’t want to cooperate, Bishop aligns his energy with me and he’s more gentle and patient, as he knows I sometimes struggle to physically interact with him like I normally do. He’s grown to be an awesome support dog, more than I imagined—as most of the things he’s learned to support me have been within the last one to two years.

He did an amazing job learning other new things these past two years, including free walking off leash in crowds, around cars, and while other dogs and cats were in close proximity. Bishop loved chasing cats.

They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks, but clearly they didn’t know Bishop Milo. My baby was still learning new things days before this tragedy.

What my baby needed now was to look into our eyes, and we look into his, and know that all would be different, but all would be well. He wouldn’t hurt and suffer anymore. He wouldn’t be subjected to poking and proding, needles and other things being stuck in him. He wouldn’t have to deal with doctors and nurses anymore. No more anxious runs, racing to his mommy trying to break free from the grasp of the attendant walking him out to me.

I sobbed knowing that this was the right decision but wishing I had a better one. I kept hoping for a miracle but one never came.

We were supposed to be at the lake, playing near and in the water, looking at bugs, insects and people. He was supposed to be rolling around in grass and playing catch. We were supposed to have a great Saturday and then plan our Sunday football menu. We were supposed to be planning our road trip for Thanksgiving, and prepping for Christmas.

We were supposed to be getting hyped up for his upcoming, November 25th birthday. My baby Bishop was turning 9 years old and I had already picked out his gift and cake. I even contemplated buying him an outfit to wear.

Now, instead, I was having to make the toughest decision I’ve had to make so far in my life.

I spoke with my friend and my sister, separately and then together. My sister made phone calls to update my mom and to have my ex-husband updated. I called the ER doctor and she walked outside to speak in person. I told her that I didn’t want my baby to hurt anymore, to be scared anymore, to be traumatized anymore, and I couldn’t selfishly intervene knowing that I risked causing all of those things and more to happen to the spirit, energy, light that I love as my very own child.

It wasn’t long after that the assistant guided me and my friend into a private room where Bishop anxiously and lethargically tried to get to us, and convince us to get him out of there. We joined my mom and sister on a video call, where we all grieved together.

I’m grateful to the staff for allowing me to stay with Bishop as long as I wanted. Well, as long as I wanted in that room. Because my heart and mind say he’s supposed to be here beside me right now, as I type these words, he’s supposed to be waiting for today’s adventure to unfold.

I sobbed all yesterday and woke up today crying. All I want is my baby, Bishop. As I drove home I could smell his scent in my car. When I put my key in the lock and opened my front door, I expected for him to be there, high-energy, welcoming me home and asking what I brought back for him. My home is filled with Bishop and all-things Bishop. His toys, bedding, blankets, and clothes. My SUV has two storage cubes filled with Bishop’s things.

Last night, I spent hours on his IG and Facebook, looking at videos and pictures of him over the years, and funny videos of dogs that our family and friends had posted that reminded us of Bishop. For as long as I can, I will keep his social media accounts active. I plan on creating some photo albums and video montages of Bishop.

I want my baby. I miss my baby. Our time together wasn’t long enough. Almost 9 years wasn’t enough. I had travel plans for us. I had plans to find him the perfect sibling or siblings to boss around, and play with. We were supposed to swim in ponds, lakes, and pools together. We still had countless hiking trips to go on, adventures to create.

All of that is gone. So now I hold on dearly to the memories, the pictures, videos, and tangible items that were and are Bishop’s.

I thank my sister for the beautiful message she posted on Facebook yesterday, honoring her nephew. I thank those of you who posted condolences, sent texts, and called. Right now I need some time to cope and go through these grieving and healing steps. Please understand my desire to be antisocial for awhile. For some of you, Bishop was just a dog. For those of you who had Bishop in your life, you know better. You know the loving soul and spirit that rested in that big ole furry body. You know that he was, is, and always will be my child.

I’m contemplating hosting a virtual memorial service for him, on his birthday. If I do, I hope you will attend and share your memories and prayers for Bishop. Unlike my book release party, there won’t be any registration, just show up and share in the love. I’m hurting y’all but I’m also grateful that my baby is at peace. I’m hurting but I only have pain because the love we share is so strong. I’m blessed to know this deepness and purity of love.

Bishop gave and taught me unconditional love. There is no greater gift. I will hold that love in my heart forever.

Love,

Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Hey everyone!

  1. Check out this quick video of me…

2. Then tune in at 6:30pm ET and listen to Episode 47 of the Don’t Call It Small…Business Podcast as we discuss “Supporting the Entrepreneur In Your Life”. Be sure to share with others.

You can also listen using the player below.

https://www.spreaker.com/user/11391552/ep-47-supporting-the-entrepreneur-in-you

3. Thank you!

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

So I have a confession, of sorts, well… not really, because I already wrote about this over the years. But let me make it more pointed today. In the past I made it a habit of quickly rebounding from one old relationship into a new one. I convinced myself that the old guy was no longer relevant and it was time to move on.

The reality was and is, I didn’t want to face and deal with the pain of the loss. The rebound was a bandaid, a quick fix, to convince myself and others that I was good, and “I’m over that dude!”.

Those were all lies—in reference to several of the men I had relationships with over the past 25+ years. I don’t count the guys I went on a few dates with or we didn’t last past three months. I truly was over those dudes. But for the real ones, the ones that touched my heart and I cried when we broke up, it’s different but I lied and said it wasn’t. I didn’t want to keep dealing with the pain and shame.

How can I honestly say I’m over a person weeks or months after breaking up, when we were together for months and years longer than the period of time from break-up to rebound? Listening to your friends try to convince you to come party with them, or meet some new man/woman they think you will like, is not what you need fresh out of a relationship. That mindset of “get a new one to get over the old one” is a setup, a trick.

You have to untangle that web. Things have to be realigned and rewired in your mind and heart before you decide to let a new person come take a tour. They have no clue it’s a house of horrors up in there.

I’m sharing this today because I keep seeing folks rebounding left and right, but never healing. It bothers me to see it. It hits close to home because I know how they feel. It’s easy to rebound. Doesn’t take practice or skill. Just leap.

I started rebounding in high school. It never dawned on me that I shouldn’t have hopscotched into a new relationship weeks or months after breaking up with one of my high school loves. It was so casual for me because I wasn’t having sex so I didn’t see it as a big deal. Just because you’re not having sex doesn’t mean you still aren’t intimately intertwined.

A rebound is a rebound.

That rebound playbook is filled with disaster after disaster. No championships there. Just a trail of broken hearts or a bunch of bruises on yours. And it’s double the pain when you were both rebounding from previous relationships. Two damaged people can’t heal each other. You’re both taking turns putting bandaids on each other to cover the gaping wounds.

Let’s not even go there with the flow-over of one or both of you cheating on your partners and then you end up together. Your relationship is built on lies. Let me stop. That’s for another post.

Here’s a test to see if you’re truly over someone:

  • Do you find yourself mentioning them frequently in conversation with others? Or asking about them to certain people who still associate with your ex?
  • Do other people tell you that you mention that person a lot?
  • Are you still checking their social media and blog posts, and it causes you great discomfort seeing them “go on with their lives”?
  • Do you drive by their home and see if you can see them? 👀
  • Are you intentionally posting pictures and messages on social media aimed at getting a reaction from your ex? Or in hopes that someone will say something to them about your post?
  • Do you explode in rage when their name is mentioned, or does it evolve after a few moments of speaking about them?
  • Can you speak of that person with love in your heart, like that Mother Teresa kinda love? Or do you find yourself still pining for them, wishing they would call or drop by saying they made a mistake?
  • Are you still willing to have sex with them?

Ummm…If you’re down for the booty call then you aren’t over them, you’re just willing to accept whatever scraps you can get. Please know that you deserve better.

If when you think or speak about the person there’s so much venom brewing up inside of you that you could punch someone, you aren’t over them. Matter of fact, it’s the exact opposite, a part of you is consumed by them. You need an exorcism!

You should be able to casually mention an ex without it either appearing that you’re about to Linda Blair the place, or text or call them later hoping to re-engage. Too much talk of them in any of your conversations, with anyone, is a red flag. You aren’t over them. You still haven’t let go and let that chapter close.

Now when it comes to snooping on their social, you have too much time on your hand if you can social media stalk them. I get it, you may have shared connections so occasionally one of their posts may pop on your feed, but if you go from looking at one post and moments later you’re 10-plus posts in, you have gone too far. If you scrolled and found yourself gawking over posts from months ago or as far back as when the two of you were together, my friend you need an intervention. You also need to find a hobby or two!

That leads me to driving by their home. Please stop it. You’re taking creepy and desperate to another level. It doesn’t even matter if you used to live there, you don’t live there now. What do you gain from driving by and maybe seeing them alone, or with their new boo? Most likely you will do something immature and make yourself look silly. If you’re in your twenties this may be a struggle, but get it together. Everyone older than age 29 needs to stop it, and stop it now. You need cleansing, healing, and Jesus.

Some people want to hide behind the excuse of, “Well I broke up with them, so clearly I was done!” First, my response is, “Then why are you obsessed with them?” Second, it didn’t matter if I broke up with the guy or if they broke up with me, and it didn’t matter the reason for the break-up. It’s broken. It’s about how I live my life after the breakup. It’s about how I regard them after the break-up. Time is a precious asset that we cannot reclaim or recycle. How will you invest it?

Oh yeah, and let’s be clear, those of you still dwelling on the cheating partner that you broke up with—they actually broke up with you long before you did, it was just easier to keep you around until one of their “plans” worked in their favor. You made it easy for them by walking away, so get off of that horse and deal with your mess. Heal so that the right person will be perfectly aligned with you in the right ways, at the right time.

Here’s the truth—we shared great times and not-so-great times with our exes, and our souls were intertwined for a period of time. There was intimacy, dreams, goals, and plans. Your families may even be linked through this union. Time and energy were invested in each other, and in this relationship. Then suddenly, it’s over.

Okay, for some of you it was a long lead-up to that death, but once it was done it felt like you were now in a parallel world. While everyone else is living their lives, yours begins to spiral out of control, as your norm is no longer. Even if you argued every day with this person, now you’re not. Whatever your daily routine used to be is no more. You’re not cooking for two, doing laundry for two, planning for two, dreaming of two. Nope. Now it’s just you and that puffy face, snotty nose, red-eyed person staring back at you in the mirror.

The first stage of grief kicks in and you have a choice to accept it and triumphantly push through each stage, or cowardly jump off, and find a pacifier to coddle you. That pacifier is either in the form of partying with your friends (so you can consume as much of your day without being alone), getting stupid drunk (which you already know how that ends each time), or finding another source of body heat to connect with. All three options suck!

Yes, we shouldn’t isolate and turn into a hermit. At the same time, we do need alone time to be with our thoughts, our selves, our fears and issues. No one can fix us. We have to fix ourselves. We have to deal with us before we send some idiot representative to act on our behalf. Let’s keep it real, your friends don’t like that person. They like and prefer YOU, and when you get your life together or start destroying those friendships, they will tell you exactly that!

Some people don’t take the time they TRULY need after a break up to reflect and learn, heal and forgive themselves, release the stranglehold of shame, and ensure that they won’t be dragging baggage from the past into their future. If the issues that broke up your relationship aren’t resolved in your heart and mind, to the point that you can trust and love yourself and trust and love others, then you won’t. You can’t give what you don’t have.

But all of that requires work, and it’s a painful process that many try desperately to avoid.

That’s why we quickly rebound and hop into a fresh relationship where we can play make believe, pretend that we have a fresh slate, pretend that this new person is perfect and flawless, and pretend that we’re healed and whole. You can go on and on about how this new person is nothing like the ex, and how they just “get me”, and how easy it is with them, and blah blah blah…roses never stink thanks to this person, the world is brand new because you have a new love in your life, and “They bake their chicken while my ex roasted it…baked tastes better”. It didn’t matter how much your ex tried to motivate you to eat better and exercise more, now in your new relationship you’re bragging about how this new person has “Helped me get healthier” 🙄😒

And sadly, the suckups and yes people in your life just amen you and your glee, badmouth your ex they were just hanging with, and lie and tell your new love, “I’ve never seen him/her so happy,” knowing they’ve used this tired, recycled line far too many times. Or they’re newly minted friends so they haven’t known all of the other exes from years past. I always smile and nod when I hear this, because I know the truth—we haven’t been hit with life’s storms yet to truly test happiness and joy. I almost burst out laughing when I hear it from someone who never knew the ex, only heard the hearsay after. So you never witnessed an entire relationship, the last one this person was in, and you’re trying to prop me up to believe that my presence and love has overshadowed the ex. Mmkay…tsk tsk…But I exhale and allow everyone to play their parts, and say their lines.

Whatever the scenario, you’re floating on air for weeks or months, until there’s a crack in the facade. Until the past and present have a catastrophic collision 💥

That first real argument is bananas. I’m not talking about the trivial little disagreement. Nope, I’m talking about the rabbit hole of doom that you and this person have ran into like two maniacs. It doesn’t take long for you to slip up and call them your ex’s name.

It doesn’t take long for you to start negatively comparing them to your ex or exes. Yeah, you’re going through the laundry list of offenses that past loves did that resemble what your new love has done (or that you have accused them of doing). Oh yeah, you’re cutting and slashing them to the quick. You have a bloodthirst. You’re going for total annihilation.

That’s because you’re still not healed and over your past. You’re carrying that dead weight around like it’s a championship belt or Flavor Flav’s clock necklace. Visualize his big clock hanging from his neck. Let me help you out…

For you, in your life, this clock represents the past, the time you dwell on, the time that you swear you lost being in that old relationship. Sadly, it also represents the time that you waste dwelling on all of it. If you had invested the time to heal from it, it wouldn’t be dead weight holding you down and keeping you from truly moving forward—in a healthy way. Nope. Instead it would be a joyful reminder to not waste a moment, embrace it, and live fully. But instead you have now gone berserk on the same person who moments ago you swore could do no wrong.

It’s not fair to the new person and it’s not a healthy situation for either of you. It’s a setup for another explosive end. It’s a setup for both of you to be hurt repeatedly. You are a ticking time bomb waiting to be detonated, and this other person is clueless—or if they know, then they are ignorant enough to stand near by to take a direct hit.

Rebounds are only good in sports and in leadership examples, where we bounce back from falling on our face—and in those instances, you’re still expected to reflect on the learned lesson. Rebounds are never healthy in the romance sphere. You’re playing a game and it’s the one that can lead to dire consequences. Relationship rebounds are bandaids. They aren’t cures. You’re just masking the infection underneath. At some point, that nasty bandaid is gonna fall off and expose you.

Clean your wounds, properly bandage things, learn yourself, date yourself, go through the painful healing process. Believe me, it’s less painful than being in a constant cycle of toxic relationships—especially when YOU are the common denominator in those relationships!

If you’re currently in a relationship with a person you rebounded with, you need to work on your self-healing without their involvement. They are not your savior or pacifier. Dig the gunk out of your mind and heart, deal with your issues, be honest with them, admit that you’re still hurting and stress to them that it is not for them to solve, fix, mend, or repair. If they want to walk beside you, thank them but establish clear boundaries. Yes, they should hold you accountable when you blur those lines of past and present, but emotionally and verbally beating you up for not recovering as fast as they like is not acceptable. They should not set the expectations and parameters for your healing. If you can’t do it then you have no business being in a new relationship.

Take your time with them. Don’t rush things. Don’t let them rush you. Savor those moments. Identify truth from fantasy. Find your foundation and be grounded. Be uncomfortable in the unknown, the uncharted. If they can’t handle this truth, if they can’t deal with your slower pace, then give them the option to take a cleansing break for a few months, or lovingly go your separate ways. It’s not punishment. It’s not leverage. It’s about love, healing, growth, maturity, and wisdom. You can’t fully and honestly love them if you’re not positively loving yourself.

I truly hope these words help someone. I know it would’ve saved me years of grief and conflict, relationship after relationship. I would’ve learned to let go of people who couldn’t let go of their exes. I would’ve learned to not enter a relationship when I wasn’t healed from the last one. I would’ve been mature enough to take those cleansing breaks to assess things in a loving way.

We owe it to ourselves and others to do no harm. When we willfully enter a relationship knowing we are damaged, frayed, on edge, and can easily cut and be cut —we are intentionally causing and inviting harm.

It’s time to heal!

Love always,

Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

It’s been a long time coming, but it’s finally happened…My books will be released on October 20, 2020!
Click on the image to order.
Yes, you read that correctly. The first book makes up the three-volume series.The title of the book is “SEEK HIM, Volume 1: Testing Your Spiritual Comfort Zone“. It is inspired by my journey through my blog Breaking Bread With Natasha.

In addition to a Bible verse, Reflection, and Prayer, you have daily activities such as:

Speak Your Truth” which is a daily session of affirmations and declarations that you will speak and write. They aren’t my words you’re using. They are yours. You are encouraged to speak truth over yourself.”

Go Deeper” is a daily activity that challenges you to explore the theme, topics, and questions on a deeper level. To complete this activity you will be pointed to our workbook, which I will tell you more about shortly.

At the beginning of each month you will find trivia or statements about historical or cultural contexts related to the Bible. This section is called “Ponder This“. It’s purpose is to get your mind churning. You will be directed to read the corresponding “Consider This” section towards the back of the book.

Consider This is the response to Ponder This. See if your thoughts, beliefs, and understanding of the information aligns with the historical, cultural, linguistic, and religious facts provided.

I didn’t just make up some information or type what I recall learning in church. I did extensive research and shared my sources in the Notes section in the back of the book.

At the end of each month there is a “Go Beyond” section which you may or may not be ready to explore, depending on your frame of mind, or what’s going on in your life. It’s also a great activity to do in Bible Study, book clubs, and with other groups.

SEEK HIM, Volume 1 comes in paperback and ebook versions.It also has a companion workbook (as mentioned earlier) that is a tool to further encourage your deeper exploration of self, your relationship with God, and more. It’s simply titled, “SEEK HIM: Workbook 1“. Trust me, you don’t want to skip the workbook. It truly tests your comfort zone and your knowledge of historical and cultural details from Biblical times. I was encouraged by several people to provide content that could challenge even the long-time devotees to Christ. That required hours, days, and weeks of research, fact-finding, and truth-seeking.

The culmination of this research is provided in the section of the workbook called, “Greater Context“. This section may enlighten many and shock or outrage others. All of which is great, because it keeps your mind working and thinking. Since I provided dozens upon dozens of sources, the skeptics and critics can go read those books and articles for themselves. Lifelong learning keeps us growing and our minds sharp!Each month, Volume 1 and Workbook 1 tap deeper into your mind and heart. Once you complete these books—at the end of four months, you’re then encouraged to get your copies of “SEEK HIM, Volume 2: Going Beyond Your Spiritual Comfort Zone” and its companion, “SEEK HIM: Workbook 2“, both of which have a February 2021 release date.

Volume 2 and Workbook 2 continue to inspire, encourage, and challenge you through four additional months of spiritual and mental exploration. It’s no cake walk. You can’t be passive with the SEEK HIM books. If you’re up for the challenge and you really want to seek Him at all times, and go beyond your spiritual comfort zone, then make sure you purchase these books.

By the time you finish reading those and completing the activities, you will be prepared to journey into the last four months of this book series. The third book set is our Volume 3 and Workbook 3, both of which have a scheduled book release for May 2021.

My books are being published through D.O.M.E. Life Publishing. Be sure to visit the website at DOMELIFEPUBLISHING.COM and learn more about this publishing imprint of Foreman & Associates, LLC, its mission, and the planned book releases for 2020 and 2021.Be sure to also sign up for the newsletter so that you’re never out of the loop!I want to thank everyone who has encouraged me to write this book, or should I say, books. I never expected for it to grow and evolve into three books with three workbooks, but we never know what God has planned for us, what He’s pouring into us, and what He’s birthing through us. I’m just grateful for all of the ways He molds and uses me.

I hope that the SEEK HIM series benefits you. Lord knows that’s what I’ve been praying for since the moment I began typing the first word of Volume 1.

Please follow D.O.M.E Life Publishing on social media:
FB @domelifepublishing
IG @domelifepublishing
Twitter @domepublishing

We will be hosting events, giveaways, and contests over the next several weeks and months. I want to make sure that you’re always in the loop. Thank you for all of your love and support!

Loving you always,
Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

Who are you, defined solely by you and your Creator? Then be you. Be that person. Stop trying to conform, be accepted, and apologize for blurring someone else’s lines, visions, boxes, categories, expectations, and labels.

Too many people are miserable because they’re trying to be something and someone they aren’t. They’re trying to live someone else’s life, by someone else’s standards.

When you have your quiet time with your Creator, are you at peace? Then that is what you should be aiming for each day. The struggle and pain comes from stepping outside of that zone.

Affirm who you are. Define yourself by the standards you and your Creator have outlined. Stop apologizing to people who don’t matter, never did. They didn’t create you. You are not in their image and likeness. Your mind, spirit, and soul were not formed by them. They do not breathe life into you each day. They don’t complete you, make you whole, or make you real. All of that comes from one Source, and you disrespect and disregard that truth and your union when you keep chasing behind the fallacy of human existence and norms, as created by the creations.

Live your life as boldly or as muted as you choose. Love yourself. There’s only one you!

~Natasha L. Foreman

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.

I’m nervous and giddy all at the same time. I’m excited about this new adventure that we’re taking with D.O.M.E. Life Publishing as an imprint of Foreman & Associates, LLC.

I didn’t see this coming, but it’s here, and I’m ready! We have announcements rolling out and you will have an opportunity to join our mailing list to stay in the loop about all book releases, events, and more. There will be business, leadership, and management books. There will be books on spirituality, self-home, and relationships. Yes, the books that I’ve been working on are the first to be rolled out this year.

Come on 2020, let’s do this!

~Natasha

I chat with my former sister-in-law, Arleen, almost daily. Just because we’re no longer connected by marriage doesn’t mean she and I aren’t connected. Earlier this morning she texted me several messages, one included this bold reminder:

This message made me pause and then laugh at the memories of my past when I actually contemplated the half fullness or emptiness of a glass, thinking it had to be one or the other. It’s not. It’s an “and”. Matter of fact, it’s two “and’s”.

The glass is half empty and half full, and it’s refillable—which is an even bigger a-ha! We can always add to it.

This is life.

Half-fullers

For those of you who have a tendency of always seeing the glass as half-full, this message is for you. Stop seeing lack in everything you encounter.

Conditionally Half-full

Some of you reading this may be optimistic in one part of your life but always skeptical and cynical in another part. You may be thriving in your career and tanking in your love life, or vice versa. It’s because you’re failing to see that relationships are relationships, some are just more intimate than others. You truly limit yourself when you approach life thinking that there’s two worlds you’re straddling. There’s one world, you’re just engaging in each relationship in different ways. It’s about the “and’s”.

Don’t limit yourself. When you do you risk not embracing the “and’s”. They do you no good trapped inside of your mind. How many “and’s” are waiting to pour out of you?

It’s Refillable

We have to stop pushing thoughts and emotions down. Stop running and hiding from them. Explore them. Even the uncomfortable and destructive ones. Dissect them and then deal with them one at a time. Determine what works, what doesn’t, what’s for you and what’s not, and then move forward.

Our dreams die because we keep forgetting that the glass is refillable.

Our relationships die because we keep forgetting that the glass is refillable.

We have to keep pouring into those people and things that matter to us. And being mindful and intentional about what we’re pouring in, when, and why. If you pour in junk that’s what you will get. If you ration what you pour in, you will only get driplets in return. If you’re only pouring in when it serves your immediate needs, then you will only receive a short-term gain. If you’re only pouring in for selfish reasons, then you will find yourself always feeling empty-handed.

And while you’re pouring in you need to responsibly pour out.

We’re social creatures, built to give and receive. If you’re hellbent on receiving but not giving, the cup will be filled and that’s it; it’s full but, over time, you will begin to envy and covet other people’s refilled glasses. You may even knock over your glass reaching towards theirs. You will see all of the changes in their life, and you will want what they have not realizing how and why their glass keeps refilling with such variety and splendor.

The reasons they have what you don’t is simple: They aren’t placing limits on themselves, and they put in the work each day that you’re unwilling to do. They pour into others as they’re cup is being refilled. They do whatever it takes to keep that cup flowing. They operate from a mindset of abundance. They see waterfalls while you see dams. They release while you hoard.

Ooh Look at Their Grass

It’s like the “grass is greener on the other side” analogy that people ponder. I’ve written about it before but let’s look at it in yet another way.

Not Green Enough

If your “grass” is green but not as green as the other “yard”, you may think your grass isn’t green enough. Do you call that yard owner or a lawn care service and ask why their grass seems so much greener? Do you ask how to get your grass as green? Do you check to see what they are doing differently? Or do you check to see if maybe you have a different type of grass that needs to be cared for a different way?

Or do you just stew in your envy and grow to hate your yard? Or do you go a step farther and plot and plan to leave your yard so you can go to the other one?

Maybe their grass is greener because they put in the work each day that you refuse to do, don’t know how to do, or just don’t do as well. Maybe.

It can also be the type of grass. Some types need more or less water, cut more or less frequently, etc. Maybe they invested more in better quality grass, while you chose the cheaper route.

If you never ask the questions about the grass and the caretaker you never get the truth, well not initially. Some folks are so busy trying to fence hop, yard swap, that they don’t know the details.

Some people have gorgeous yards because they pay someone else to care for them, or someone else (like a spouse) is pulling all of the weight and caring for that yard. The person you give credit to for the yard merely found someone with the skills to do it for them. But how many people jump at the chance to get their hands on the person they think makes that grass magical, just to find out their choice was wrong?

We see this a lot in relationships where a person pursues a man/woman who is already in a relationship and they assume that the “greenness” they see is solely the result of that one person they are pursuing. They fail to realize that the partner is doing their share. The person they’re pursuing may not be the caretaker of that lawn.

It’s Fake

Some of you are busy bashing your yard not knowing that other super green lawns are actually artificial turf. You’re trying to swap real for fake. Even if you get it, after some time you may find yourself yearning for the real thing. What are you going to do then, pine for your old yard, tear up your fake one and try to lay down real grass? Or will you jump the fence and go invade yet another yard?

It happens a lot when people fence hop and leave behind their yard for another. After awhile, they start looking at that hard work each day (of labor and/or expense) and begin to yearn for their old yard. What is both sad and comical is when people look back at their old yards and realize that “It wasn’t as bad as I thought. I just didn’t want to put in the work”. They now have a new perspective and they don’t like the decisions they made. That’s what happens when we operate from a mindset of lack.

Brown “Grass”

If your grass is brown it’s because you didn’t care for it properly. It’s that simple. It doesn’t matter if you pack up and go to that other lawn because guess what? You’re still you and you’re still bringing your limited thinking over to that green lawn—which means that unless you put in the work to keep that grass green, you will either end up with brown grass or you’re gonna get kicked out of that yard. Whoever took care of that green grass, that you coveted, isn’t going to let you neglect or abuse it.

Fix Your Mindset

Life is not passive it’s active. You have to engage and take part in it. You have to work to block out what’s toxic and unhealthy, and let in all that is healthy and appropriate for you. It requires discernment, clarity, patience, and discipline. Not all that is healthy is for you. You have to find, see, and embrace what’s right for you. You’re a special puzzle and only the right pieces fit. Some of us just keep jamming the wrong pieces in, trying to make them fit. You’re distorting things for selfish gains, which only leads to loss.

Your mental state of lack will always keep you in a deficit. That’s why the grass-is-greener fiasco keeps you in a state of lack.

We want a microwave solution to an oven-baked situation. That’s a problem we face each day and we don’t realize that the solution is to get out of our own way. Our unhealthy selfishness causes us more grief than gain. We also remain in a state of lack when we make everything about us. When we compare what we don’t have with what someone does have, and we think that we deserve what they have because in our minds we put in equal or greater efforts—yet got different results—and we don’t see the flaws in that distorted logic.

When we are the only priority in every circumstance, we’ve unknowingly declared that the glass isn’t refillable. We’ve actually cut holes into it and we’re watching everything drain out. Ironically, we will blame someone or something else for the holes. Because now we must play the role of victim. It’s all about us, until we have to take responsibility for our actions.

To truly live we have to stop this rollercoaster of madness that we’ve created. We can’t handle it, yet, we expect others to jump on and enjoy the ride. We want people to accept and love us, when we don’t accept and love ourselves. We keep wanting it to be all about us yet we expect others to fulfill a role for us that they were never created for. We covet when we should be grateful and content.

Just like our bodies need water we need a healthy source to tap into so that our thirsts are quenched, and we can function as we’re designed. The three-part question now to ponder is:

Who and/or what is your source? Do you go within or elsewhere to access it? How will you stay out of the way so it can do what needs to be done?

~Natasha

Copyright 2020. Natasha L. Foreman.

I mostly stay away from Facebook and rarely pop into other platforms because it’s become a cesspool of regurgitated nonsense. People attacking people while saying “don’t attack people”; people disregarding one group of lives in exchange for another. This world of social media is SICK. It is a reflection of the bigger sickness in this world.

But I need to get something out of my head and into the atmosphere, with hope that it resonates with someone and changes their mind and heart long enough to put thought into what they say and share on and off of social media.

It pains me to see someone post an issue that matters to them just for someone to hijack it with a stupid response that disregards that issue to focus people’s attention on a different issue.

I have issues with anyone who would tell me what issues I SHOULD be MOST concerned about. So let me help you out…

I can still be concerned about MY LIFE as its impacted by COVID-19, especially as I have loved ones fighting it and loved ones who died from it. And I desperately don’t want to see anyone else die from it. And hell no I don’t want it. I have enough issues, I don’t need COVID-19. So I’m very passionate about this issue.

At the same time…

I can be concerned about unethical and criminal policing, legal system reform needs, and other related issues, as my BLACK LIFE STILL DOESN’T MATTER in THIS same COUNTRY that claimed and still claims “All lives matter”. Y’all know it should be true but it’s not. So that’s why we fight for equality, equity, and dignity that we STILL haven’t received after slaving, sharecropping, being robbed by Jim Crow, redlined, gerrymandered, and mass incarcerated in Slavery version 2.0.

At the same time…

I can be very concerned with the upcoming national election because I strongly believe that some people would do anything to keep me from voting and keep my vote from counting. Absentee voting and vote-by-mail are the EXACT SAME THING. If it’s good enough for our military then it’s good enough for me. I was born and raised in a state that passively aggressively discriminated against me. I now live in the South, where they don’t waste time faking how they feel about me or my vote.

I think this two-party system is flawed, many of our politicians (on both sides) need to get the boot, and we need a major overhaul on the state and federal level. We need to get rid of these super PACs and keep billionaire dollars from buying elections. It’s crazy how corrupt this country is. Jeesh, it’s sodom and gommorah 2020-style.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about my life and rights as a woman— as politicians and religious zealots are trying to reverse and destroy my rights to my daggum body. People don’t mind killing me with COVID-19 but they want to have a say about what I DO to MY BODY. They want to say what happens to my body, but tell me I have no say.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about women and children being trafficked as domestic and sex slaves. I’m concerned with how the porn industry serves as the hub for trafficking, and there’s too many wealthy hands in that pot to get billionaires to stop trafficking women and children for the pleasure of some sick and twisted men and women—some who may live next door to me and you.

Jeffrey Epstein should have been in prison for the past 20 years. Now with his convenient death there are hundreds of wealthy people who will never be prosecuted for their crimes. He wasn’t a lone ranger.

At the same time…

I’m concerned with ICE raids, indigenous lands being encroached upon and seized, people being isolated and criminalized because of their nationality, skin color, and religion.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about the environment, the air, soil, and the water, and let’s not forget Flint STILL HAS CRAPPY WATER! As a native of California I can say that California’s water has always sucked, but if a city in California had water like Flint’s I can guarantee you there would’ve been major change and fast. Our state and federal government is knowingly allowing people to get sick and die, because it’s not their families being impacted.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about cancer, autoimmune diseases, Alzheimers-Dementia, mental health disorders and that these issues don’t mystically magically disappear simply because we’re facing other issues. And add to it the threat of COVID-19 and those lives are more at risk.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about unemployment and underemployment and the fact that many of us will be HOMELESS while politicians tell us there’s no more unemployment and stimulus checks, and instead we should “go get retrained”. There’s somewhere interesting I would like to tell them to go…

At the same time…

I’m concerned about low-wealth communities in urban and rural areas and the suffering they are enduring on top of what they have already been enduring for decades. Working class people didn’t stop being “poor” once everyone else took a financial hit. It didn’t even the playing field. That stimulus check didn’t boost them up a tax bracket. They are being ignored now even more so than before.

And speaking of the homeless, what are we doing to better their lives? Nothing has improved in 4 years, yet we were promised “bigly” and better things.

At the same time…

I’m concerned about our “Seasoned Citizens” age 60 and older who are faced with some harsh realities about retirement, income, social security, and that things aren’t going as they planned 30 to 40 years ago. All while living in fear of being wiped out by a virus that has no cure and does not discriminate.

At the same time…

I’m concerned that self-serving parents who acted a complete fool about unvaccinated children being around their vaccinated children and screaming that the unvaccinated children would potentially expose their children to diseases and viruses, YET, NOW that they have endured several months of a 24/7 experience with their children, they can’t wait to get away from their angels. Now they don’t mind risking their children’s lives and their families lives by sending those same vaccinated children to school for 6+ hours to be exposed to a virus that has no vaccine.

And parents who don’t want to risk their children’s lives are being shamed and called all sorts of names for PROTECTING THEIR CHILDREN and their FAMILY. Teachers are being shamed and threatened. Schools are facing defunding for not reopening.

At the same time…

I’m concerned with the politicalization of face masks. A health crisis has been reduced to politics.

At the same time…

I’m concerned with how many educated people there are walking around doing and saying some ignorant stuff. Common sense just got flushed down the toilet. Critical thinking skills got tossed out the window. Basic reasoning has been rejected. Just regurgitation of propaganda and lies. Folks just don’t fact-check…nope, just like and repost 🤦🏽‍♀️

I have so many other issues that keep me up thinking late nights. Not one. Not two. But several.

So DON’T tell me which issue(s) I should be more or less focused on or concerned about. Just because the issues are not as important to you doesn’t mean it’s not to someone else. One issue is not more or less important.

It’s not either-or, it’s ALL. And since some of y’all love using the word “all” when it suits you, let me hit you with this…ALL ISSUES MATTER. Don’t shame people for being focused on one or more issues that matter to them. And don’t try to shame someone if they aren’t as outwardly outraged about the same issues as you.

Don’t diminish and devalue one life for another, one experience for another, one issue for another. They all matter, don’t they?

Do your part to make the world better by not attacking the people in it!

~Natasha L. Foreman

Today is my late great father’s birthday. My mom found this picture of my dad (circa 1971) at her parents home.

I decided to share this picture because it tells a story of a time before I was around. And dad, since 2001 you have been on a new assignment, building a story beyond your life here.

I still struggle, these 19 years later since you transitioned. If I would’ve known that your last birthday was going to be your LAST birthday here, in that body, in this life, I would’ve— well, honestly, I don’t know what I would’ve done differently.

We spoke daily and basically saw each other daily. We were gym partners, sports buddies, and business colleagues.

You were and will always be my friend and my first hero (mom’s my first shero). I miss you dad. I miss our talks and even our arguments. I miss you challenging me towards excellence in all things and in all ways.

I wish you were here— like here, here— physically. All I can do is work from my 25 years of memories, look at pictures and mementos, and consider what you would say, do, and ask me. This doesn’t get easier. It just is— an is…

I love you dad. Happy birthday!!! 🥳🎉

Love always,

Natasha

Copyright 2020. All Rights Reserved. Natasha L. Foreman