Many of you know that I’ve been an advocate for survivors of abuse for many years. As a person who in the past has been physically, verbally, psychologically, and financially abused it’s important to me that we reveal all of the tactics used by abusers to wield a false-sense of “power” over their “victim”. I don’t simply wait until Domestic Violence Awareness Month to educate the masses. I’m focused on year-round help, healing, and empowerment. Since we’re starting a new year I decided to “dig in the crates” and find an oldie but goody message that I shared from the past on my Paradigm Life blog, and reposted here.

When we look at abusers, one type of person that often goes overlooked but always leaves you perplexed and bewildered is the narcissist. This is because the vast majority of us don’t know that someone’s a narcissist and many narcissists don’t even self-identify (why in the world would they accept responsibility and take ownership for something that doesn’t make them sparkle bright?). They’re simply labeled as “arrogant”, “pompous”, or “spoiled”. But it can go deeper and darker depending on how long this personality has been free to roam and stir up a path of destruction. Left unchecked and untreated they can disrupt families, workplaces, communities and more—and in their minds, everyone is to blame but them.

When we look at the #MeToo movement you can’t help but to see a common thread amongst the individuals being accused of harassment and abuse–decades of narcissism (of various degrees) on the loose. For the most part these are career-related, workplace scenarios being described. Or examples of powerful individuals using the power that they have achieved from their careers to take something from someone less powerful. Imagine the context with personal interactions within the home, with spouses, family and friends. This personality type can be toxic to any environment left unprotected.

Of course there are levels and degrees of narcissism (from basic to sociopath to full on psychopath) and there are many layers of tactics that they deploy (to include gas-lighting, revisionism, and the silent treatment). I’ve personally been on the receiving end of them all, hence one of the reasons that I share with others who may be experiencing some of the same trauma.

Read my October 24, 2014 post from my Paradigm Life blog as we discussed the art and madness of the dreaded Silent Treatment.

Now let’s also be clear, that not every adult who opts for the silent treatment route is a narcissist. They’re just immature and childish, and haven’t let go of the preschool antics. However, if you see and experience a pattern of behavior that frequently includes this tactic—you’re most likely tussling with a narcissist. Beware!


Copyright 2014-2018. Natasha L. Foreman/Natasha Foreman Bryant. All Rights Reserved.

Here’s another message that I reflect upon from the past. On April 5, 2016 I wrote this message as a reflection to a Facebook post written by a man who was reflecting over his marriage and the ups and downs that he experienced trying to juggle marriage, career, and family.


I shared the message as I share it today, with hopes that it reaches those single individuals who dream of one day marrying, those married couples who are struggling and contemplating divorce, those married couples who haven’t yet hit any bumps, and to those who are divorced and aren’t quite sure if getting married again is the thing for them.

Please read this message, reflect on it, share your thoughts, and then be sure to forward this message to others. With more and more people waiting to marry, others divorcing in staggering rates, or an increasing number of people opting out and choosing to bypass marriage altogether—it’s refreshing to look through the lens of someone who struggled, recovered, and reclaimed the connection he was losing because his priorities were misaligned. It can be a message that can help others before they cross that bridge, as well as those who have crossed it and are sliding down a collapsing hillside. It can also help those who have reached the bottom of the hillside and wonder if it’s worth taking the journey again.

I look forward to your positive comments.


Original post:

I think this week will be a week of deep reflection and taking small moments to browse my insights over the years–to see my areas of growth as well as stagnation.

I also know that I have new followers to my sites and social media profiles, and some people would guess to know the true me. Nowadays it can be difficult with all of the snapping, chatting, posting, and tweeting we’re doing.

We’re all, for the most part, great marketers and do a pretty good job of projecting the image that we want the world to “buy” about our lives and our values. By looking at my social media I think that you can tell that I’m definitely not “pitching perfect” or even any resemblance. I’m just sharing bits and pieces of my life as they unfold. But even with these small glimpses it leaves people to make assumptions about my life and the person that I am.

Well on June 14, 2015 I shared with the world some interesting facts about me. They are still true today. Oddly enough, I find that even when I speak openly about my quirks and flaws, boundaries, and values there’s always someone who challenges it, doesn’t believe it, tries to change me and my mind–and then is left dazed and confused when they get exactly what I said they would. Just like you I want to be accepted, flaws and all. Don’t make me more than I am or try to reduce me in any way. I’m not your Superwoman or your doormat.

So if you never had the chance to read this message, or you simply need a refresher, here you go!


Original post:

Bride's Mother

Today is my mother’s birthday and I wanted to make sure that I shared this day with the world. My mom is my mother, friend, confidante, supporter, protector, provider, nurturer, and so much more. She was my first teacher. I was blessed to hear her heartbeat and voice from within her womb. I am the woman I am partly because of the woman who is my mom. I can’t imagine my life with another woman as my mother.

mommy and me at Santa Monica Beach 1976

She taught me how to read at the age of two. She taught me how to dance. She encouraged me to get a little dirty outside in the yard. She taught me how to cook. She taught me how to use my critical thinking skills. She exposed me to that wonderful creative brain of hers and opened my eyes to all of the wondrous things that I could one day create.

Bride's Father

My mom has taught me to seek and find the silver lining in all of life’s clouds. She also taught me the gift of giving. It is because of her I started volunteering in my community as a child. It is because of her that I continue to volunteer and give back to communities all over.

me and mom 1985

I thank God every single day for blessing me with an amazing mother, teacher, and friend. Here’s to many many many more days and years celebrating and being thankful for this beautiful woman.

mom and me at Uncle Archie funeral March 2017

Happy birthday mom. I’ve loved you from the moment I was conceived and I will love you forever.

Love Your “Fish”,


Today is my birthday. I’ve been blessed to walk around and make mistakes, fall down and get back up—and learn hard lessons for 42 super awesome years.

Today I celebrate my life and all that is has been and all that I hope it will be.

Today I miss loved ones who have since passed away, but are still very present in my heart. I wish they were here to hug, laugh with, hold their hand as I shed a tear, reminisce over the “good ole’ days”, and ask them for much-needed counsel. But the reality is, they aren’t here. So I reflect through pictures and the memories that I cling to, and remember their words of wisdom that they freely shared with me.

Today I think about my family and wonder how we can connect more face-to-face. I think of my younger cousins who have grown up and I don’t have a real connection with them because I missed so much of their young lives. Then there’s the tiny tots in my family who don’t know me because I’m not around–I don’t live in their state so I don’t get to see them. Today I ask myself how I can change that reality. My family is so important to me and I want to strengthen my bonds with my extended family members, reconnecting what we had when we were much younger. That is my hope, desire, and prayer today.

Today I sit here giddy and joyful wondering what my nephew Logan will look like, act like, and sound like when he debuts in the upcoming days. My sister, Alexandra, will be 39 weeks tomorrow, and Logan has been prepping all of us for the big day. Oh how he will remind his mommy and his daddy (Shawn) how God truly does have a sense of humor. As many of us have surmised– you and all of your childhood antics are gradually displayed through your own child! That’s when your parents can laugh and say “payback time!” I know I can’t wait to point towards my sister, laugh, and then say, “don’t get mad you used to do the exact same thing!”

Today I reflect on this art piece (below) that my father had made for me in 1985 when I was 10-years-old. I look forward to the day when I can have something made for my child–that they will hopefully cherish and hold on to as I have done. This piece hangs proudly in my home for me to see each day.

Natasha art piece from dad 1985

Birthdays make us think of life, death, successes, failures, hopes and dreams, and love.

I’ve accomplished a lot in these 42 years and I still have so much more to do, to see, to feel, and to say—so I promise myself that I won’t waste my days over anger, foolishness, self-pity, depression, or doubt. I look forward to the next 42 years and beyond. I hope that the world is ready for me!

To celebrate my birthday I share one of my newest professional head shots. I figured that I didn’t need to wait until the new year to roll out a new look, vibe, and mindset. I would start today–my birthday. I’m kinda digging the look. What do you think?


Here’s to what’s next!


Copyright 2011-2017. All Rights Reserved.

Sure we all may walk around with an attitude, belief or mantra of “like me as I am” or “I don’t care what people think and say about me. I’m going to be me“, or “you don’t have to like me and how I look, because I like me“.

Some of us make the decision to live wild and look wilder, as we choose to wear bold hairstyles, hair colors, nail polish, lipstick, clothes, shoes, jewelry and other accessories.

Many of the bold and beautiful often wonder why they are looked over for promotions or fail to get raises even though the work delivered meets or exceeds standards. They wonder why they are ignored in meetings, demoted, removed from a place of visibility and instead tucked away where they seem invisible.

Many more wonder why they never seem to get that job callback or why the interview that seemed like a potential fit ended up with a “sorry but we’ve selected a different candidate“—if they even extend you the courtesy of letting you down that way.

There are numerous reasons why you don’t seem to be making strides in your professional life. Some may be due to your professional shortcomings. Some may be because others are merely outshining and out-hustling you. Some reasons may be due to people’s perception of you and their bias towards you– and a step farther, your appearance.

Are you working for or applying for a position with a company that is very conservative? Well then look through the owner’s, manager’s and recruiter’s lenses. Your over-the-top hair style, hair color, nails, makeup, or accessories may be a huge turnoff. Your busted shoes and tattered clothes, may be leaving the wrong impression. You may not be reflecting the image that their brand represents. So maybe, just maybe they take a risk and hire you, but don’t be shocked when that risk doesn’t extend beyond you quietly performing a job but then they limit how visible you can be in the job and within the company. If you don’t represent the core values, image, and vibe of the company, they don’t want you to be a face that represents their brand.

Sorry but your green hair, blue lipstick, and polka dot nails clash with that bank’s, doctor’s, dentist’s, and law firm’s image and brand—and most likely the image that their clients expect of them.

So you cop an attitude but let’s look at it from a different perspective, shall we?

Would you accept and then call the hairstylist or barber who handed you their business card but their hair looked a “hot mess”? Would you trust a nail technician to take care of your nails when theirs looks like a rat chewed on them? What about the person who wants to be your personal stylist yet their clothes and shoes look dingy, cheap, and in need of a trash can? Or the car detailer whose car is filthy? Or what about the dentist who has yellow, crooked, and missing teeth? All due respect, would you trust a person to teach you how to be physically fit if they weren’t fit and seemingly health conscious?

Most likely you have repeatedly said “no” to each of my questions. Why? Because appearance matters, attention to details matter, and we have become more brand conscious over the past 20 years—so if people don’t look the part then we just don’t trust them, and we definitely aren’t going to give money to people we don’t trust.

Ever see a shoe salesperson in a midrange to high end store with beat up, dirty shoes? Nope. It’s a turn off to the customer.

Now let’s be clear, this isn’t about you having the most expensive things you can buy and displaying it. It’s about how you present yourself. I don’t care if you shop from a discount or thrift store, it’s about finding items and colors that best complement your look, build, style, and personality.

What does your personal brand say about you? What does your appearance say about the company where you work or the one that you own?

If my dentist doesn’t take care of their own teeth then heck no they can’t dig around in my mouth. They can’t be that busy that they can’t fix their teeth yet they have plenty of time to chastise me about mine. If my doctor is lecturing me on my health and weight, yet they have a keg belly, I’m going to look at them sideways.

My personal fitness trainer and instructors better walk the walk. If they can’t do the workout then stop telling me “you can do it“. Shut up because you can’t even do it! Oh and they better also look the part. It always reminds me of the out-of-shape physical ed teacher during P.E., blowing their whistle, and yelling at the kids, yet they can’t do the workouts they are pushing the kids to do. Why don’t you drop and give us twenty? Why don’t you show us how to climb this tall, rugged rope? Why don’t you lead us in the mile long run? I mean, since you should be coming in first place then all you have to do is quickly grab your clipboard and clock in the rest of our finish times, right?

Now consider this…

If you’re looking for a marriage counselor and the person you meet with has been divorced several times and is currently divorced, then how in the world will they help you protect, save, and rebuild your marriage? I’m just saying, in the words of Jesus, “physician heal thyself“.

If your financial counselor or coach doesn’t have an 800-plus credit score, admits to still getting payday loans (or you happen to see them getting one), then who are they to be coaching you? They need to go back to the drawing board and take some of those classes and work on some of those principles they are selling to you.

People can talk all day long. But can they walk the walk?

So appearance matters to the vast majority of us. A corporate image and culture is formed and shaped at the top of the company, by the CEO/President, and it feeds down through the other levels and branches of the organization. If your image doesn’t compliment the company’s then how can you be upset when they don’t want you as a representative of their company and the brand they worked hard to build?

I want you to do something for me.

Tell me this—are your hands well manicured, are your clothes and hair clean and presentable, and are your shoes in great shape?

Why?” you ask.

Well because believe it or not, when most people see you the first thing they look at is your face, specifically your eyes. Then they look at your hair. Is it well groomed, does it have a foul or pleasant odor, is it a natural color or something bold or bizarre? What about your clothes? Are they clean? Are they ill-fitting or do they hang nicely on your body complementing your build and shape?

Then when they are close enough to pay attention to the finest of details, they look at two things very closely: your hands and your shoes (and if you have on sandals or no shoes, then yes they are checking out your feet). Our eyes are naturally drawn to these things. Maybe because we speak with our hands (and shake hands with others) and our feet are visible when we walk and are seated. Which is also why we stare at men’s socks when they are seated, and notice how many rings (and the quality of those rings) a woman has on her hands. The attention to detail becomes our obsession.

Let’s start with the hands…

I don’t care if you’re in construction,  sanitation, or a mechanic—do your hands look like a person who is concerned about their health and wellbeing or do you look like you’re part werewolf and part science experiment? Keep your nails clean (when you don’t have them in sludge), cut to an active length (for the ladies) and as short as possible (for the men), and please tame those cuticles and hang nails.

Ladies who love nail polish, artificial nails, and accessories…what you put on your nails, hands, head, ears, and around your neck should compliment the environment that you’re in most, which for the vast majority of us that would be our workplace. So think twice before busting out with extreme colors, lengths and shapes. If you work in a more conservative environment your boldness can be seen as a distraction.

If you have a customer-facing role in the company, do your best to represent that brand to the fullest. You’re being paid to represent the brand, so do it well!

That means your shoes and clothes are very important. If your shoes are extremely worn, look beat up, have knots where your toes have been crunched in them repeatedly, the sole and top seem to be fighting over which direction your shoe should be aligned, the heel looks tattered, and the color has faded or revealed the undertone shade—take them to a shoe repair store, donate them, or if you know they can’t be salvaged, throw them away. I truly believe that many people are walking around wearing the wrong shoe size, either too big or too small. Go to a reputable shoe store and have the salesperson help you determine your correct size and see how your size varies depending on the type of shoe you’re wearing. You may wear a different size depending if the shoe is open-toed or closed-toe.

The same thing applies to your clothes. You know what’s too tight, too loose, too short, and too revealing. There have been plenty of times when I’ve stepped in front of the mirror and said aloud, “oh heck no” and immediately changed into something else. Fellas, I’m also speaking to you. If you’re one breath away from bursting the seams of your pants or a button on your shirt, it’s time to donate them. If your pants are hanging below your hips and you’re not a male exotic dancer “working the floor”, you need to pull them up and get them tailored to fit you properly. Go to a tailor or to the mens’ department in the mall and ask to be measured so you know your correct size for dress shirts, slacks, blazers, and jackets.

A first impression is a lasting impression. A first impression could lead to the start of something new and great, or to another closed door and added rejection. Each day we step foot outside of our homes we make the decision about how we want the world to view us, and like it or not, judge us. You never know who is watching you, so step out representing the image and brand of where you want to be (if you aren’t already there).

Copyright 2017. All Rights Reserved. Natasha Foreman Bryant.

By Natasha L. Foreman

Today the Younger Women’s Task Force Atlanta Metro Chapter recognized and highlighted my role within the organization and my life as a business person, mentor and change agent in my community. I’m honored to share this with all of my readers. You can read the article at any of the ywtfatlanta blogs as listed below:




Copyright 2011. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved