It’s been a rough 2022, yet, it’s also been a blessed year. I’m checking in with my updates and checking on you to see how you’re navigating life’s seas and storms. We shouldn’t go based on social media posts because those are deceptive.
I’m not where I expected, but I’m grateful for all I have and am in awe of what I’ve learned and experienced. I’m limiting my exposure to social media and news reports. I grab fifteen-minute bites daily and don’t allow myself to get dragged down the rabbit hole. It’s too toxic, suffocating, and depressing to spend much longer than that, so when I do, I intentionally steer towards inspirational and comical posts. I also seek artistic posts that pique my interest in dreaming about my future home and writing space.
I’ve noticed that when I run across news reports and commentary about politics, one of the “isms” plaguing the land, or how politicians and influential gatekeepers are stripping human rights, I feel my rage build up. I find my anxiety kicking in when I see injustice and the blatant disregard for human life because the body that houses that life has dark skin. I feel like my insides are boiling when I hear and read snarky remarks from people who think this country was best when women and people of color didn’t have any rights and little girls as young as 14 could be married or bedded.
There are a lot of folks out there acting like they wish this was 1860. But here’s the thing: they aren’t ready for what they’re masterminding behind closed doors and in plain sight. They aren’t ready for the breed of Americans who have been restraining themselves for years, often guided by the loving principles taught by their spiritual leaders and religious beliefs. When people grow sick and tired of crying, marching, protesting, kneeling, compromising, asking, re-phrasing, educating, pleading, and praying for people to stop doing evil and calling it righteous — what do you think those people will do when they reach their breaking point? It will not be as romanticized and fantasized at rallies and private banquets. This world is dealing with new generations tired of being enslaved by modern shackles on redefined plantations.
For my health and wellness, I have decided to disconnect from the outside world as often and for as long as needed. I’m grateful for the apps and features on my devices, that have helped restrict my access to the Internet. I swear it sometimes feels like some horror movies I used to love watching, where demons work aggressively to take over. I have to remain optimistic that there is more good than evil out there, fighting back and saying, “No daggum way!” I refuse to be a cynic. I refuse to believe that evil is prevailing.
I’ve also decided that I will pray over and release those things I can’t control and change. Some things are above my pay grade and job title. I’ve stopped searching online for places in the world where a Black woman can feel safe and protected because I ran out of options. Do you know how scary that is to wrap your mind around? There are days when I wonder why I’m both feared and despised yet highly imitated. The irony.
The news outlets are driven by the rabid nature of the horrific events we see. My television isn’t allowed to click on the news. I gather quickly what I need from online sources that I still have to fact-check because the rush to publish first has blinded many so-called journalists from getting the truth and facts before releasing the news. It feels like there’s racism, colorism, sexism, and classism every few posts online, and that’s just four isms. The microaggressions that cause people to defensively tell the people that they’ve offended, that they are being “too soft” or “don’t have a sense of humor” or “too politically correct” or whatever gaslighting technique that has been seminar-style taught to people over the past 15 years, makes choice words build up inside of me until they’re ready to explode and drown out their ignorance with plenty of my own. Oh, I could horrify sailors and truck drivers with my words if I wanted to, but I’m tired of carrying this rage. I’m tired of feeling this way solely because I have to protect myself from other people who feel less inferior when they’re oppressing, silencing, beating, or killing other people.
I choose to hold on to my peace, fight for my peace, and dare anyone to try and steal my joy. I’m tired of negotiating with my mind the acceptability of entertaining hypocrites, sellouts, opportunists, and those who profit from the toxic cycle of the status quo. I refuse to vote for or financially support people who benefit from maintaining the status quo while they talk about “change” for publicity’s sake. I’m not voting for politicians to live comfortably while I and others struggle. I’m tired of the pimping going on, and I’ll be damned if I spend my days feeling like I’m working the corner.
So, I’ve decided to be intentional with my interactions online. I pop in, share, enjoy the awesome contributions of others, and then I pop out. I won’t let this world take hold of my mind, spirit, and soul. It can limit where I live and what I can buy, but it will not have what is most precious to me.
That’s my check-in. What about you?
How are you feeling?
If you could identify with one of the emoticons above, which would you select?
How are you navigating this world?
How are you managing the chaos and confusion?
I hope you’re putting yourself first, your health and wellbeing first. I hope you are more concerned with being unique and living well than fitting in and following trends. I hope that you recognize yourself when you look in the mirror or play back a recording of your voice. Don’t allow yourself to be taken over by this matrix.
Copyright 2022. Natasha L. Foreman. All Rights Reserved.